Why do molecules form themselves into such patterns that they are able to ask themselves “Why do molecules form themselves into such patterns that they are able to ask themselves “Why do molecules form themselves into such patterns that they are able to ask themselves … ?”

Why should I work so hard at life when it’s going to be gone so soon?

Information is recognition.

Everyone wants you to be their slave. This is the nature of human relations.

The worker may control the means of production, but the corporation controls the means of communication.

Productivity is a measure of the ratio between corporate greed and public gullibility.

You can’t just tell the truth to people. They haven’t had the benefit of years of brilliant analysis to reach the conclusion. If you pop it on them, it will offend and even damage their delicate sensibilities. That’s why teachers rarely tell the truth, and if so then not until the very end. If you tell people the absolute truth, they will become upset and nail you to a tree and make a religion out of you. And then, they’ll get that wrong.

Survival leads to boredom.

We are, at best, caretakers, and I suspect we are on our way to being terminated, as were the dinosaurs before us.

Life is nothing but problems, and the only reward for solving them is more problems.

I have done bad things. It is impossible to keep that from overshadowing everything else.

Is it just a coincidence that Kyle MacLachlan as Paul Atreides in David Lynch’s “Dune” says “If you walk without rhythm, you won’t attract the worm,” while Fatboy Slim in his song “Weapon of Choice” says “If you walk without rhythm, you won’t attract the woman”?

The world was a beautiful place, until those white bastards started moving in.

Whenever I turn off the television, I feel as if a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

The problem with being close to someone is you have to be close to someone.

Gravity is a repulsive force. Space and mass are mutually exclusive. Mass is actually a distortion in space, much like tiny bubbles of steam forming in water as it starts to boil. Mass is a standing wave. Energy is a travelling wave. Mass pushes space out of the way and compresses it. This compression causes space to be shorter and therefore objects travel faster through that space relative to uncompressed space. This acceleration is called gravity. Bodies orbit other bodies because the space around the more massive body is curved. The orbiting object sees itself as travelling in a straight line, as mass is wont to do. But, the space through which that line passes is curved, and thus the line of trajectory is curved, resulting in a circular orbit. I like to think of space as a uniform block of gelatin, with a pingpong ball carefully inserted into the middle through a slice. The gelatin around the ball is compressed out of the way until the force of compression decreases with distance to zero. Everything between zero and the surface of the ball is what we call gravity. Space is elastic, mass is relatively inelastic. If you’re researching gravity as an attractive force, you’re barking up the wrong tree.

The corporations and politicians want you to spend all your worrying time on light bulbs and power adapters and hybrid automobiles. You should not have any time left to even remember the real problem facing this planet. A human being needs about one square mile of arable land to sustain a comfortable lifetime. There are about one billion square miles of arable land on this planet. There are nearly seven billion human beings on this planet. Do the math. By the year 2100 the whole world will become a desert, and we’ll all get to live the Fremen experience.

The biggest rip-off of them all is life. You never get what you pay for.

What vanity, to believe that we own this planet. We’re just recycled material, like everything else.

I can’t stand hearing great songs being perverted into marketting tools.

Heaven is two hours of Doctor Who with potato chips. Well, why not? Oh. Sorry. Crisps.

Bury my heart at Chicken Delight.

Common Sense: an attribute of most animals and some humans to discern the difference between an inside straight and a quick exit.

If cats ran the world, there would be carpet squares on the table instead of plates.

Going back to gravity, I also believe that if we can develop technology that allows us to manipulate the harmonic frequencies of space itself, we can create and destroy mass and energy at will. You need something? Make it appear out of nothing. Are you through with it? Send it back to nothingness. That would be sweet.

Simplicity is elegance in and of itself.

The government does not want to get rid of all the criminals, else the public would have no criminals to focus their attention on except the politicians themselves.

Any tribe that wanders through a desert for forty years under orders from a talking shrub should be avoided.

What nobody seems to realize, maybe not even Darwin himself, is that evolution is completely random. There are constraints, and everything seems to fit in with the bell curve, but within the constraints there is randomness. Things don’t evolve because they are smart. The things that evolve in conformity with their environment survive. Those that evolve contrary to their environment do not survive. The environment is the slow change process. Evolution of life is the quick change process within the slow change process. Everything is random. We are all mutants.

Have you noticed that all children’s television advertising of the past few decades is for food and toys? Food and toys. Our children are being groomed as consumers.

The corporations must be destroyed.

The ultimate goal of all existence is the perfect expression of total balance.

The two greatest crimes against humanity, beside anything done by every government in the past five thousand years, are Microsoft Windows and Sun Java.

Why couldn’t alien visitors be silly? One would hope that beings capable of crossing interstellar distances would gain a perspective on the fleeting nature of life, and how things like war and poverty and greed are just silly and stupid, and should be avoided. How about aliens with a sense of humor? Wouldn’t it be great if the first visitors to this planet acted like George Carlin and Marty Feldman and Gene Wilder? We shouldn’t be sending soldiers into space. We should be sending comedians. (update: The only thing that makes sense about the film Armageddon is Steve Buscemi being in it. And Liv Tyler, of course. Liv Tyler anywhere always makes sense.)

Crawls, banners, squeezes, overlays, overdubs, pop-ups, PIPs, and transitions should be banished on pain of death.

Belief is an overly exaggerated sense of hope.

If you are going to make enemies of powerful, vicious people, make sure you can be more powerful and vicious than they are.

War is the booby-prize for bad politics.

The purpose of clothing is not to protect you from the environment, but to protect your furniture from you. It is difficult to throw a couch into the washer.

Inside each of us, at our very core, is a curious infant who dislikes nothing more than the law.

God speaks to us all the time. In the song of birds, the whisper of the wind, the rush of water. Burning bushes and voices in whirlwinds, these are parlor tricks for simpletons. I have heard the voice of God, and it says, “I am not here. This was not said.”

I’d rather have ten happy seconds than a hundred years of misery. One usually says such things when one is experiencing the latter.

When we finally realize there is no god, then we can play.

We are moving rocks.

Once you cease being afraid of death, the whole world opens up to you.

Contradictions are a bipolar disorder. Become a monopole. Keep moving forward.

Did you know if you drive backward through a toll booth they have to pay you?

There are no athiests in fox holes? Then, to end war, all we need do is eliminate religion.

Love is being comfortable with someone. Hate is someone else being comfortable with you.

If you can think yourself sick when you are healthy, then you can also think yourself healthy when you are sick. Be wary of either of these. Remain centered in reality.

There is no meaning to life. It is all random. All that matters is how you feel. Beyond survival is happiness, and sorrow. And that is all it means.

Nostalgia never goes out of style.

I thought, it would be great to have a robotic girlfriend, a synthetic like Call from Alien Resurrection. Humans are illogical and distracted. Then, I realized, being human, I would not be good enough for her.

The brain is a remarkable device. I wonder why it betrays itself so often.

Our freedom is soaked in blood. That’s not freedom. That’s shame.

Hitler wasn’t an enemy because he killed millions of Jews. He was an enemy because he was anti-corporate. It was the corporations that defeated Hitler, because he was a threat to their power. They were more than happy to serve him, until he declared war on them.

It’s all make believe.

I don’t like high pressure situations. I like to be relaxed. Some might reply to that, “No pain, no gain.” Well, the guy who said that likes to molest women, and his dad was a Nazi.

How about making houses out of stuff that doesn’t burn? How difficult would that be, really?

People who say “Easy peasy rice and cheesey” need to be punched. Michael Yagoobian has the excuse of being a cartoon character who led a despondent and miserable life. But, if a millionaire like Jeremy Clarkson says it one more time, I’m going to drop a cinder block on his head.

“Gunga Din” is away better than “Star Wars” and always will be.

Calling someone’s particular mind a “disorder” implies that everyone else is “ordered” and “sane.” I have never met anyone who is completely sane. Everyone is a disorder of one sort or another, to some degree or another. True sanity has yet to be invented.

There was no revolution. They are still in charge. Wal-mart will become everything. The middle class will disappear. There will be only Morloks and Eloi. No one stopped anything. This is our evolution.

Nothing shown on television is “the true story of” anything. At best, it could be mistaken or incomplete, the product of normal human misunderstanding. At worst, it is an outright lie to manipulate your understanding to the benefit of those who control television and everything depends on it, and upon which it depends. Who controls television? The government that is owned by corporations that have everything to lose if you learn the truth.

I realized a long time ago that life is whatever is in front of your nose, and what is always in front of your nose is the universe.

The world is a malevolent place. From the moment you are born, everything else in the world is plotting to kill you and eat you. Everything that is “nice” is a delusion that humans invent to keep themselves from going stark raving mad from terror.

What is the point of surviving if you’re not doing what you want to do?

Life isn’t worth living, that’s the thing. For every ounce of pleasure, you have to claw your way through a pound of agony. The world is a mouth full of teeth and it intends to eat you. Life has fed on life since the beginning of organized molecules on this planet, and none of it bothers to ask why, only What’s for supper? Beyond self preservation, there is no Purpose. Your purpose is whatever you choose. If you think it all means something, you’re deluding yourself, said delusion and resulting contradiction possibly being the source of all the agony. Accept the meaninglessness of it all and move beyond it. Meaning comes from feelings. The universe has no feelings. It cannot feel happy or sad, and it doesn’t care two whits for you. The universe does not have a Big Consciousness out there watching you. That is another delusion. Your meaning comes from your feelings. If we did not have feelings, “meaning” and the search for it would not even have occurred to us. Your feelings tell you what you want. Your intellect tells you how to get it. Your body is your means of getting it. It’s. That. Simple.

How can one conceive of reality, when we all perceive only a limited part of it, and comprehend even less?

To be misquoted by idiots is not a dishonor.

People who believe in some sort of god are yearning to be ruled over by a king. There is no place for such people in a civilized society.

Complaining about how other people lead their lives is a sure way of announcing how much you are in doubt of how you lead your own.

Copyright should last for the life of the creator plus the time it takes for all the creator’s children to reach legal adulthood, and not a second longer. No more free rides.

No complaints. I just want to thank you for making recent episodes available on your site. I haven’t had time to follow much in the way of entertainment, lately, so I’ve missed season premieres. There are only four stations I watch with any regularity, and they have what I consider to be the best shows of the past few years: SyFy, Fox, TCM, and BBC America. A lot of people have derogatory things to say about Fox, but all I can say is, if you don’t like something, don’t watch it. If you make fun of a show, you’re really making fun of all the people who watch it. I think there’s entirely too much time wasted making fun of people. That Fox goes through the effort of bringing to the public, groundbreaking shows like Fringe and Dollhouse, really meaningful and thought provoking shows, indicates that there are better brains at Fox and that you all are doing your job. It doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes we are graced by presentations that show the true potential of television to entertain, to engage, to enlighten. I thank you, people of Fox, and those other stations, for helping in no small way to redeem television for some of the bad rap it has gotten and, unfortunately, deserved. Please keep up the good work. We need more better television product. A little bit at a time, this powerful window in our homes can be used to inch us toward a better society, someday. Thank you. {An open letter to Fox broadcasting.}

9/24.09 I dreamed Gregory Peck was telling stories about Hollywood while showing mementos. He pulled something large across the floor from behind me to the right, like a great black bottle or cannon that had that old kind of dull shiny finish to it like on old things from a museum ship, while some song was playing from the soundtrack of Moby Dick, and the men in the song, Peck’s voice among them, sang some very low and others sounding as if they were singing through glass tubes to get even lower. I was sitting in the chair I have now, a cushioned chair with wide wooden arms that were like tables. Peck was dressed in some old 18th century seafaring garb like officers uniform from Horatio Hornblower but the collar was open like he was just off the set, but he had a beard sort of like Ahab in Moby Dick but he was younger. He gave me pencils and knives from the movie, or about the movie, promotional items with stuff printed on them that I couldn’t read, one being a slide knife but that was broken short, with a peculiar angle to the handle. He told about Mickey Rooney and how he had gone to see Rooney in some stage play and asked for something promising Rooney he could get him in to see Abe Vigoda and Estelle Parsons in another play, only something didn’t work out and it was missed, but he made good on another performance. All the while I was trying to wear Mickey Rooney’s short olive green stocking cap/beanie as a sock on my right foot. There was another part that had to do with something in a small town where some digging underground was happening, and there was a cat that was in on the digging but that something went wrong and it was stuck underground but also underwater, cold murky water, with lights but only so it could be seen like imagined, as in a glass ant farm, and I could see that it had very smartly sort of built an upside down house under the underground water and it survived there in an air bubble in the cold dark with things that were maybe down there or after it or lived like that but I didn’t see if the cat was ever rescued. During the Peck part of the dream I thought that the rare song that was playing would go like gangbusters on the internet, and Peck said that some of the elastic bands would fetch a good price being rare. He was in good spirits. I think the dream was about my parents.

People ARE cattle. That doesn’t make me feel superior. It just makes me feel sad.

Civilization, [sî vî l? z? sh?n], n., a bunch of people who have agreed not to murder each other.

Did it ever occur to you that each and every religion that preaches submission to authority, which is, basically, each and every religion, was invented by some authority that wants you to submit…to them?

Where boys are raised to sow the seed and pass the test, girls may never hope for more than fecund best.

Hey, everybody’s gotta grow thicker skins, okay? If you don’t like something, just say you don’t like it and let it go at that. You aren’t the universal authority of anything, just of your own opinion, just like everyone else. And if somebody disses something you like, so what? Who the hell are they? You like what you like. What do you care what some stranger thinks? Art is about creating levels that we can all live on and appreciate, whether it’s Metal or Beethoven. Just let it expand your own horizon and to hell with anyone else who wants to stay small. You don’t appreciate it? Walk away. They don’t appreciate it? Walk away. Just walk away. Nobody’s holding a gun to your head.

I am a conduit of mass and energy. I am a catalyst for change.

The only difference between humans and mold is complexity.

I do not like the world.

Sanity is the very worst kind of madness.

When one is faced with death, material possessions suddenly reveal their ultimate irrelevance. Unless one of them is a force field generator. That might become suddenly very relevant.

Carbon trading: paying poor countries to stay poor. Please, tell me where that starts to make sense.

People who play games don’t read books. People who play games don’t think.

I blame the newspapers and television news for the glorification of violence. If I were to go to the seedy part of town and pick out some homeless people, and give them new coats and shoes and what not, and buy them a few meals and maybe find some odd jobs for them to do so they earn a little money and self respect, nobody would even notice. But, if I were to go to the seedy part of town with a big knife and start carving up homeless people, that would be front page news. So, I blame you, news people. You. You’re the cause of it. And don’t say you’re giving people what they want. You’re giving people what you want to give them. Nobody is holding a gun to your heads and making you print anything. Yes, I’m pointing my finger at you. And the game makers are no different. When was the last time you saw a video game that had the goal of helping people lead better lives? What? The Triassic maybe? How many games involve piercing skulls with bullets? Oh, maybe…all of them? You are to blame, too, game makers.

I am a tribute to the wasted life.

The bitch about being truly noble is that no one ever knows about it.

Truth has a way of digging itself out from under a mountain of lies. Lies can only kill. Truth is the only sustenance that preserves life. Live by lies and die. Live by truth and live. The liars will die out, always, leaving the true and honorable to sculpt the future.

Civilization is what we do with our hands to keep from thinking about our inevitable death.

The human race will eventually evolve into something that won’t even recognize us as their ancestors.

People who think they have the answer don’t notice that pretentiousness comes before all. Like this.

The government is just another syndicate.

Individuals matter only with regard to the specie’s response to external stimuli affecting the continuation of the the specie. What your life means to you is part of the formula but it is not a condition of the process.

The only thing government can do to promote equality is to make everyone equally miserable.

We are the only animals that spin fairy tales.

This is all random. You must understand that. I can’t stress this enough.

After listening to a portion of a Creationist propagandistic play on a short wave station, I realize more than ever that there are insane people out there, and they will always be insane, and they are at large, and I am afraid.

Is the next level of evolution the internet?

The only time I am really happy is when I am listening to music.

The best you can hope for in life is to be late for your own funeral.

If people love peace so much, why do they keep breaking it?

As long as people fear what is different, there will be hatred, slavery, and murder.

Sex is the icing on the cake that is mainly made up of laundry and PTA meetings.

The speed of light is a constant, but space is variable. Space is polygeneous.

There is something wrong with a nation that allows a dictator to overpower it.

True cowards are the idiots who give up thinking in favor of war. It does not take courage to obey orders from violent men. It takes courage to refuse to obey them in the face of their cowardly violence.

Nationalism, tribalism, is the antithesis of truth. For truth to reign, nations must be dissolved.

People aren’t worth as much as you think they are.

All religion is idiotic. Face it. Not just some. All. It’s delusional. Yes, I’ll say it right here. Anyone who subscribes to a religion is a nut case.

When I am writing, it is not an ineluctible joy or spasmotic dream, not orgasmic in the least. When I am writing, I am not being anything that I am not, and that is where I need to be and what I need to be. When I am writing, I am perfect.

Anyone who has to kill to protect their way of life is showing the valuelessness of their way and cowardice of their soul. All soldiers are cowards. All leaders are philosophically bankrupt. Disobey if you want to live.

Every country that has US troops stationed within their borders should send an equivalent number of their own troops to be stationed within the United States. You can imagine how far that would go.

It’s interesting that the three most famous airplanes in history are the Wright Flyer, the Spirit of St. Louis, and the Enola Gay. The Hindenburg would make a fourth for bridge, even though it isn’t an airplane.

Boobquake is the way the world should be. Truth for the fun of it.

If you spend your tomorrows, where are you going to live when you get there?

When Mount St. Helens exploded, no one went around calling God a terrorist.

All art is fatuous, unless you know there will be no audience.

The future is never like anyone imagines. Isn’t that fun?

Nobody’s trying to beat you down. Nobody cares. In the end, nobody cares.

Honestly, I don’t know how most people make it through life without drugs.

Energy without reason dissipates.

I’ve never met anyone so dead set on being miserable as myself.

I take that back. I’ve met lots. I have never been able to fool myself into accepting fantasy as reality. I have never been able to lie to myself completely about the nature of myself nor of anything else. That is, at the heart of it, why I am so miserable sometimes.

Any meaning there is in life is just make believe.

I like to smoke. It is my way of thumbing my nose at God and daring him to kill me. It is the closest thing to prayer for me. Tobacco is my host, and flame my benediction.

Everything I do is a role. Every act I have ever committed in public has been calculated to portray me as something others would recognize in someone else. I have never been myself in front of others. It has all been an act. Only when I am alone, am I truly myself. And when I am alone, I don’t know who I am.

You are as important to the universe as that atom in the tip of your nose is important to you.

Love is highly overrated. It taxes the mind and upsets the digestion.

The only one who can make you feel bad or good is you.

Happiness just means you have something you are going to lose. Don’t go on about memories. They’re just a film emulsion over a pastiche of regret. An undying reminder of what you’ve already lost.

The man who cuts his own flesh has no enemy but himself.

In a world full of people like me, there would be no war. I imagine everyone has thought something like that at one time or another.

Everyone is what they are as long as they need to be.

I am a boring little nothing living on a subatomic mudball in the middle of vast emptiness and the only reason I go into that boring little job every day is because I don’t have anything better to do. There. That is a life summed up in one sentence.

About Wikileaks: people don’t want to know the truth, that nations are built on lies and murder.

Ritz crackers are much better than the cheap knock offs. But, disturbingly, almost as oily.

My cat is very catholic. He always eats fish on Friday.

Those with the most to say have the least to say.

Just remember, whatever you put on the internet will stay there until the Sun explodes.

The universe is no more than a postage stamp floating in the ocean. How big are you?

Guns are nice, but knives are fine.

Sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll may not be the perfect answer, but they’re better than war.

Muslims worship a meteorite. Christians worship an act of torture, the eating of flesh and the drinking of blood. Jews worship themselves. Buddhists worship everything. Hindus worship an entire comic book empire of superheroes. Shintoists worship the dead. Pagans worship everything in nature as if it were intelligent. No wonder the aliens have not landed in the open.

We exist temporarily to take care of our things.

It seems strange and yet fitting that the legacy of The Fonz is the phrase “jump the shark.”

Nobody in America makes good, solid brass flush valves any more. It’s all cheap plastic Chinese crap that wears out after a few years. This is the age of disposable shit. It’s all so that the incompetent can beat the competent. We all suffer for it in the end. It’s economic cancer. Sure, you’re still alive, but you’re dying slowly and it’s just a matter of time before the first vital organ gives out completely. Then, good-bye world economy, hello new 10,000-year dark age. We’re fucked.

The end of the beginning is the beginning of the end.

Depression is the only illness that prevents its victim from wanting treatment.

Happiness has a terrible price. Only sorrow comes for free.

Can you imagine Sean Penn or Leonardo diCaprio or Keanu Reaves or Brad Pitt playing Captain Jack Sparrow? No. Not even Harrison Ford when he was young.

“Bolt” is visually stunning precisely because it is not visually stunning. It is preeminently and startlingly mundane. Any scene in any location from any angle looks exactly like any place you have ever stood and looked upon any time in your life. That, in “Bolt,” none of what you see exists at all, is strictly and purely amazing.

Stieg Larson smoked three packs a day, never exercised, ate crappy food, and died of a heart attack after being wound up for days and climbing a set of stairs when the elevator was out. He never lived to enjoy being the best selling author of all time. I do not know why I am alive and sometimes I wish I weren’t, but, frankly, above all else, I want to keep living for as long as I can. I don’t know what’s coming next, I never did, but that is probably the spice of life. And life is only worthwhile while it’s happening. Like the man says, you’re dead for a very, very long time. There’s no sense in hurrying it up.

Everything the government tells us is lies, innuendo, and half truth. We don’t even know for sure if there are any conspiracies, and that’s exactly where they want us.

All of today’s politicians are Fascists. It doesn’t matter what they call themselves. Each one bears the brand name trademark of some corporation or another. When the government and the corporations are indistiguishable, that’s Fascism.

The United States of America was founded on smuggling, slavery, and genocide. Do you think all that just went away?

The President is always somebody’s man. Why do you think Eisenhower looked like a hostage in his farewell speech when he warned us against the military-industrial complex? Maybe they’d gotten to him, but not all the way. He still had integrity. Our last decent President. They all have their good points. Carter. Even Nixon. Well, maybe not 43. But in the end, they are all somebody’s man. But not ours.

Sometimes I wish Windows was a living thing. So I could hurt it. So I could make it scream.

Everything that happens on this Earth is engineered by some powerful nation or corporation. From Desert Shield and Storm to the uprising in Egypt, somebody designed it to happen to their advantage. It’s the game of thrones.

Society doesn’t care if you destroy yourself. But if you try to destroy others they jump all over your shit.

Life is a mistake. The sooner it ends, the better.

I have a new toy. A “circuit bent” Conair soothing sound machine, modified by Dave Barnes, serial number 129. It is a silver teardrop with a big black volume knob on top, half surrounded by little black buttons. One button powers it on and off, and the rest cause the device to emit sounds like waterfall, thunderstorm, white noise, and bird song. Added by Barnes is an RCA audio output, two metal studs for finger touching to frenetically alter sound, and a knob comprising of a swirly multicolored rubber ball, the kind often gotten from a gumball machine. Turning that knob lowers the frequency of whichever sound is playing. It is soothing and exciting at the same time. I can listen to the plain original noises, or squelch or squeek them into strange alien mutterings. I have it right next to my computer. I can’t help but reach out to it now and then. It attracts my hand like a magnet. It is the simplest synthesizer I own, and yet I keep using it to make simple weird noises. Often the simplest things are the most important. Take the door, for instance. It is the simplest thing in the world. A rectangle fashioned of whatever material suits the wall. Just a rectangular hole, and yet it represents total change. One step through any door changes anything, everything. The simplest thing in the world is the cause of the greatest of changes. Everything is just a complicated form of a door. We are always creating doors, and stepping through to find what is on the other side. We welcome the change that we force upon ourselves. Everything is a door. We are a race of door makers.

You know, even the so-called enemy of the corporate state Apple is ultimately just a lying, hypocritical engine of the corporate state. They saw great competition from the premiere computer audio production software house EMagic, producers of Logic and SoundDiver. Logic is object oriented production, while SoundDiver is a program that allows customized and complete computer control and assistance of any hardware musical device that can connect with a computer (I suspect MIDI only, but it may be able to communicate with CV/Gate analog machines–it is complicated and amazing.) But, due to extending their anticipation and resources a little too far, EMagic ended up in financial difficulty. Not terminal, but painfully profitless for the foreseeable future. In stepped Apple like a generous uncle, offering to buy EMagic as a company and make them a subsidiary. I don’t know if it was trust or desperation, but EMagic accepted. It was not long before Apple absorbed Logic as its own, incorporated bits of SoundDiver into other programs, and then simply and thoroughly buried EMagic. It ceased to exist as a PC software entity. I myself witnessed Apple’s desperate disposal myself. I found I was able to enter Apple’s FTP access area, and download what little remained of EMagic’s last programs and files for both Mac and PC. A day later I went back to check if I had gotten everything, and that FTP area for EMagic had been deleted. Apple had probably seen the record of me accessing it, and they promptly and cowardly deleted it, the last trace of EMagic that was to be found anywhere. Now, if one wants something resembling the power and majesty of Logic and SoundDiver, one must become a Mac user. That was Apple’s intent all along. No friendly assistance for Windows and Linux users. A total corporate lock out in the name of monopoly. Apple cemented its private hegemony as firmly as any industrial age robber barron. Thus, I only buy used Apple equipment and software when I can and when I need it, insuring that I get the utility, and not one penny goes into Apple’s coffers. It’s all I can do. For now. Until the revolution. And the all the corporate headquarters are left ragged as the World Trade Center. Oh yes, that was only the beginning. Domino One. The rest will follow. Just wait.

To turn off memories to suit the needs for comfort of the moment, is to live without a conscience, which is to become everything that is not human.

Human, (l. Homo sapiens), a species whose most deliberate aspiration is to have no predator but itself.

I couldn’t have my own starship so I settled on computers and synthesizers.

One time a pile of years ago, I found a windscorpion on the bathroom basin. It was only 2 millimeters long, shaped more like a crab than a scorpion, and having no tail, but fully functional pincers that seemed almost too tiny to work. I imagine had I a microscope at the time, its face would have looked just like that of a crab, or perhaps a scorpion’s with the even tinier fixed jowel pincers on either side. I carefully got it onto a piece of paper and brought it to my father, and we had a jolly old time looking at it through his linen tester (a magnifying glass with a foldable frame.) Every time I feel like I’m bored, I remember that time, and how in each second of the day, new things are presented to me that I never knew about before. Remembering that moment helps me realize that giving in to boredom is probably the worst crime one can commit against oneself. The universe is just too fascinating to waste time being bored. Afterward, of course, I returned the little fellow back to where I found him, so he could continue his exploration and return home safely. Respect life. In this cold universe it is rarer than gold.

The NAZI death camps happened just twenty years before the peace and love generation. Did they really think it would work?

I like C. I don’t like C++. “See Plus Plus.” Clumsy. “See Inc” is what it is, if you know what I mean. I can’t wrap my head around it. I mean, I can understand concepts like encapsulation, inheritance, and polymorphism. I just don’t get the need for them in basic programming structure. Any C programmer worth her salt can write a program properly and elegantly. C++ is for lazy programmers who cut too many corners. It not only distances the eventual end user, but it distances the programmer from the core. C++ doesn’t allow bit fiddling? Nonsense. C is founded on bit fiddling. To take that away is to rap the programmer on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and say “Bad dog! Program under our control and not yours!” That I don’t like. Give me C or give me death. If I wanted to feel safe all the time I’d use BASIC. Which I do from time to time. BASIC compilers are cool. But C++? Too much control lost to the paradigm. Sorry. No.

Do you know why beavers chew down trees? Aluminum. Yep. This is something I read about years ago, but I just this minute decided to write down what I remember about it because it’s a strange tale and fits in to this bullshit. Wood is impregnated with the mineral alumina, which is a crystaline oxide of aluminum. Beavers can smell alumina. It smells sweet to them. It’s probably sweeter to them than even the tree sap which is full of sugars. So, mutation eventually resulted in a creature with a paddle tail that can swim swiftly and is drawn to chew down trees which are ideal for building houses in the water. It’s also why there are very few of some old airplanes found, like old crashed bombers and fighters and such. After it was decided that aluminum would make better skin material for high speed airplanes than doped fabric, a lot of aluminum airplanes were left as smoking wrecks across every continent. And, as it would just happen to be, nearly every continent, or maybe all of them, have their own species of beaver. And beavers are maniacally drawn to anything that smells sweet like alumina, like aluminum airplanes. I think I recall the main reason that no original P-61 Black Widows becuase they’d been eaten by Asian and Micronesian beavers.

There has been a silent but obvious and equally deadly revolution occurring in this country for the past one hundred twenty years or so, and that revolution was by the corporation, of the corporation, and for the corporation, and now the corporations own all the politicians and run this country, and, through our military, diplomatic, and economic might, have coerced control over the rest of the world. Any new revolution by the people would, in fact, be a reaction. In order to become revolutionaries, we the people must become reactionary.

Religious fervor inevitably evolves into money making. After the goal of spiritual quest is accomplished, there is little else but to make money out of this circus.

Fleece is like a hug that lasts all day.

Married life is the art of learning what to ignore.

We are what we do not want to be.

To live in freedom is to be not afraid to die, or to live.

I polished the faceplate of my clock radio, and now I can hardly hear local stations but I can hear some Twin Cities radio station quite clearly. DXing Minneapolis/St. Paul Jazz radio. I’m in the Hudson Valley. I’ve seen weirder.

One fly can be killed easily with a flyswatter. Ten thousand flies can easily kill you, flyswatter not withstanding. This is the meaning of futility and victory in war.

Being able to play music will get you laid. Never forget that. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but the way to a woman’s is through her ears.

Being alive doesn’t make up for having to die. I don’t care what anybody says. It’s too high a price.

It is disappointing that the best evolution could come up with to combat suicide is religion.

When riding an elevator, it is imperative never to think about what is under the floor.

The more I listen to the news, the more I am convinced that people are well worth staying away from.

A clean house is like a clean mind: ultimately boring.

Adventure is where it takes you.

I’ve just tried watching The Magnificent Ambersons. What a bunch of boring assholes.

But then, the next day, I watched Groundhog Day, and that made up for it.

Living alone in your own house, owned or rented, means you can crank Steve Vai at midnight. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Chicken and corn chowder, flavored with bacon. Can there be anything finer in existence? No. This is the pinnacle. The peak of my existence. Now, right now. It doesn’t get better than this. This soup is like a creamy hot orgasm injected straight into the middle of the brain. I am happy right now. Truly and irrevocably happy. None of the things that happen in the world that generate feelings of unhappiness are able to touch me right now. I can even think of them and I am unaffected even acknowledging them. It’s not the soup but that’s a catalyst. I am happy, and it’s not going to go away. I think this is what they call satori. Wow. And on line 1000, too. Wow.

I’ve just realized what makes an American an American. Every American feels they’ve been born too soon. Europeans all feel like little bits in their monumental history. Asians are part of the big picture, society as a whole. Africans are all members of their family, ubuntu. South Americans are part of the ecology, the world at large, the big living thing. Australians–the Abos–are a part of the dream. But, we Americans, the U. S. Americans, the We-uns, the Us. We always feel as if we’ve been born too soon. The future is where we belong, and that’s what we spend all our blood, sweat, toil, and tears to reach.

Happy movies make me sad. But, that’s all right.

There’s no place to call when life feels absolutely meaningless, and you don’t feel like killing yourself.

That we achieved consciousness at all is probably the mistake. It was unnecessary, but, then, so are most mutations, and this gave us a singular advantage: the ability to understand the patterns around us, and integrate them into our own ability to manipulate them. An accident of nature made us into nature itself, and here we are, rebuilding the universe in our own image.

I’m just watching “Jeanne Dielman…” on Turner Classic Movies, and I cannot for the life of me fathom why the Germans did not surrender to the French in the face of overwhelming tedium.

We have to get rid of religions and corporations.

History will recount the endless series of Viet Nam-istic conflicts that resulted in the collapse of the United States of America. All empires end thus.

The foundation of every religion is nothing but a great leap backward. We must kill god once and for all.

A world forever shrouded in night, where the rich live and the poor try not to die. Is the future of our civilization, the city of Bladerunner?

It’s all about satisfying the public. Not because there is anything noble in the gesture, but that it is necessary for survival. For the rich, who are the starters of the production of things. After the rich get their Cadillacs, they gotta start making Chevys to sell to the proles, so that they feel their sense of entitlement and I-got-mine, and don’t go all 1789y on the rich. Beating guillotine blades into crowd share, so to speak. This is why Capitalism succeeds while other political systems fail. Capitalism provides everyone with at least some of the necessities that our ancestors have been squabbling over since Day One, while the other political systems work hard to provide an even distribution of piety, guilt, or self-justification which does not equate to bread on the table. A fat belly makes for a poor revolutionary, as the man said, and boy does Capitalism make ’em fat.

If you can’t laugh at it, it’s over-rated.

What little happiness there is in life is buried under an avalanche of inevitable misery. That’s just the way it is.

I am not happy and I do not know why.

I just came up with an idea for an entire story whole and proper, and the beginning of another one. No matter how I neglect it, I cannot get rid of this writer inside me.

Esquimeaux used ice bergs. White people don’t have the stomach for that (except in far off third world countries when news cameras are not around) so they invented Life Alert. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone in the third world countries wore a Life Alert that would summon CNN helicopters before the bullets start flying?

There is no forgiveness. There is no redemption. There is only death and rot.

Wherever man goes, he creates deserts. The world is not safe.

AutoTune makes human beings sound like constipated robots.

We don’t honor people any more by naming places after them. People don’t matter any more. Everything is being named after a corporation that bought and paid for it, so the corporation can use it as advertising. It’s true; people don’t matter in the eyes of a corporation.

Who the hell would want a cock twelve inches long? That’s ridiculous.

It isn’t just good to be different. It’s vital.

I was just looking at a new software program I installed. In particular, at the red sculptured dot of its close icon. An overwhelming sense of nostalgia and loss came over me. Back, years ago, when things were fresh and every new thing spoke of infinite possibility and promise. Things were wonderful at one time. When did it get so sad?

“What? You mean Wales is separate? It’s like the British equivalent of New Jersey.” From Torchwood: Miracle Day. Funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time.

I ran away from love to nothing. At least, nothing doesn’t disappoint. Nothing is just what it is.

It’s a shame the 21st Century was made into the century of Islamic terrorism. That’s all it will be remembered for.

Tokyo looks a lot like Brooklyn.

To be afraid of death is to be afraid of life. Why has it taken me this long to realize that?

The Boondocks was cancelled because it told the truth in a country run by lying scumbags.

I spent a restless night, waking at least three times. In the fourth bout of sleep, I dreamed I was in Rapture, in the shopping district. I remembered it, I was there, with every detail in place. I heard the hum-clack of the security camera and was afraid. I saw a woman approach and I ducked behind the pilings, but realized she was normal looking, unaffecting by splicing. I was in Rapture before the fall. The Rapture of the living and the lively. For a moment, I was happy.

I cannot serve myself. The way I was treated as a child, spoiled and degraded… I was taught that I am worthless. I learned to be alone. I can try to do anything for anyone else, but I cannot do anything for myself, aside from meaningless amusement. If someone asks something of me, I will jump through hoops. I need the approval of others, as I was taught. But, my own needs, I have ignored forever. I cannot do what I want for myself, and have for so long, I no longer even know what I want. Aside from trying to please others, worrying myself to ulcers when I fear I cannot, I only sit and watch teevee, work at a job I would much rather not, shop for groceries, and buy outrageous amounts of stuff from eBay. Credit card companies have graced me with over $20,000.00 in plastic liquidity. And yet, they are right to trust me. Unlike that previous period of my life so long ago, I will repay this in full. My job pays me more than enough, and I have lots of time on my hands. But, still, it is only passing amusement. No dreams, no plans, no goals. Just to get through the day or the week. And a day does not go by when I do not think of suicide. But, that’s been my way since I was a kid. Can anyone possibly explain this life to me?

Just watching Carrie Fischer’s “Wishful Drinking” show. She is the only person on the planet in history who is both a PEZ dispenser and featured in the Abnormal Psychology Handbook. A photograph of Leia heads the article on biplor disorder. To be that unique is beyond admirable.

Ducking Fyslexia. Sorry. I had to write that down.

Ideally, we do things in order to be happy. In reality, most of the time, we do things to keep from being sad. That’s pretty pathetic. But, that’s all there is.

Life is complexity. Any system of mass and energy that works to maintain itself and even to extend its complexity, is alive. That is all life is, and all that life needs to be.

Remember when I said that life is a mouth full of teeth and we are food? I think I said that, somewhere up there. Well, a consequent of that is: The universe is going to kill us, and the only way we [humans] keep from going insane is to be insane. As I said to my doctor (just before she prescribed antidepressants for me), happiness is a result of coming up with the right delusion. If you can trick yourself enough into thinking that being alive is “nice” then you can avoid killing yourself. Until something else kills you, at least. So, now I am on Cymbalta. Me and the cartoon woman in the advertisements with the cute Muppet-eyed dark blob trying to lovingly swallow her into the ground. What an interesting life, eh?

My life could never be as full as my mind imagines. I’m not as talented as I hope I am and I bore too easily with everything else. I guess I’m just my own biggest disappointment.

I’m lying my way through life. I’m a hyperintelligent 9 year old who never grew up, and I get from one situation to the next by lying as convincingly as I can. After a lifetime of that, who wouldn’t feel like killing himself?

Cranium ex Anum.

I have a Neuron and a FIZMO, as well as a Technics SX-WSA1, a Kawai K5000W (waiting for a new main board, although it would be cheaper to get another K5000W and keep the original for parts,) and just about every other synth that produces sound in unusual or misunderstood ways. I like weird and fascinating things, particularly if they are scoffed at by others. That sort of rejected underdog attitude rings a bell with me. Dem’s mah peeps, as the youth culture says today. I like experimenting with sound, and the weirder and harder to understand the machine, the better I like it. For instance, I am thinking (still just in the thinking stage) of a synthesizer built using SynthEdit, and based on fractal mathematics. What kind of sounds exist inbetween the integer dimensions 1, 2, 3 &c.? What is the sound of 2.347 dimension? Or an imaginary sound? (As in imaginary numbers, based on the square root of -1.) Would that be sound traveling backwards in time? Effect before cause? I’d love to find out. (Originally part of a post to the Yahoo! FIZMO group, in reply to the question of how many Hartmann Neurons had been sold [about 200,] but I realized was showing off again, so I cut it and saved it here.)

SY99 prices are a bit ridiculous at times. There is a fellow in California who has been posting his SY99 on eBay for quite some time, and wants $2500 for it. Cheeky sod. I got my SY85 for about $180 with shipping. The floppy drive doesn’t work, but I read the Yamaha forum thread about building a 34-to-24 pin adapter, and it isn’t at all difficult to replace the drive with a new one, or even one of those USB socket adapters, for access to hundreds of virtual floppy disks at once. I got two TG77s for $250. Not each. $250 for two TG77s. I use a Quasimidi Cyber6 control keyboard, and when those Motivators get hold of the TG77s which are discreetly microtuned, the sound can rattle the walls. Throw in a MicroQ, a Pulse, a Microwave XT, a RackAttack, a Polyevolver, an Ultraproteus, a Proteus 2000, and a Trident rack full of MOSS and KARMA and there is a sound that shakes the gods out of bed in the morning. When I feel like calming down, I’ll noodle around on the M50 (also KARMAlized) or MicroX, or spend an evening with the Neuron and the FIZMO. The MS2000 is great for days when I want to just go nuts tweaking, and the SX-WSA1 is perfect for when I am feeling contemplative and philosophical. The Virus C and Nova help when I feel as if she blinded me with science. Who’s “she”? My muse, of course. And I haven’t even gotten into the OASYS-PCI, yet. Ahh, life is good. Damn good.

“The way I read it, the albatross was a good luck charm ’til some fool killed it. Yes, I have read a poem. Try not to faint.” –Capt. Malcomb Reynolds, Firefly Serenity

A horse. Horse. Why is it called a horse? Why? Who looked at it and said “horse”? Who? Why? Why would anyone look at that animal and call it a horse? It makes no sense. The sound has nothing to do with it. I just don’t understand. Horse. Nope. Just can’t make the connection.

Spiders love coffee.

What are kings, but rapists who have turned it into the family business?

Murderers are just animals who have fallen outside the human ken. Crime is a disease of society.

“Serenity” is pure Science Fiction at its abso-fucking-lute best. There is no better. It is the pinnacle.

Lots of Esquimeaux buy refrigerators. They keep them out on the porch to keep their food from freezing solid. A heat pump works in both directions. The old joke is just that, nothing but an old joke.

If only the universe knew how much it amazed us. Maybe why that’s why we invented god. So we could imagine that something in the universe was grateful for for all the joy we wanted to express. Without god, the universe pretty much doesn’t care what we think. That leaves us tiny creatures feeling rather lonely. If there’s a god, you’re never really alone. There’s always someone happy that you are here. God is everything we’ve ever wanted to fill in the empty spaces. Maybe dark matter will turn out to be god.

I know what I have to do. I don’t know why I have to do it.

Just wondering about jumping through a window. Like they do in movie scenes. If you’re sliding off the edge of a roof but catch the gutter with your fingertips, and there’s no way to pull yourself up, but you can push off and swing into a window, shattering it and landing in a room. How do you do it without dying? If you smash through a glass window without wearing chain mail, it will slice you to ribbons and you will bleed to death in minutes. Glass is the most dangerous substance on Earth. Next is wood. Next is water. For something to be dangerous, it has to be available. Plutonium is the most poisonous substance on Earth. Where do you see plutonium every day? Only in places where you can’t get at it. Glass, wood, and water are everywhere, in every building and vehicle in the world. Glass is, anyway. And how many people die from cuts, burns, and drowning? A whole lot. They’re dangerous.

Every civilization on Earth has invented the spoon. Think about that.

Matter and energy can be created and destroyed. This will be proven and demonstrated. It’s just that the “experts” refuse to accept this, for now.

“How To Survive A Lifetime Of Pain And Never Find Happiness” That wouldn’t sell too many copies, I think. Except to the morbidly curious. And Goths. Christ.

Don’t try to be wise. At some point you will/may realize the truth about everything, and expect to achieve satori. It will not come when you are looking for it. Only when you forget that it is what you are waiting for, that it will arrive, almost like a giggle in the wind of a cold crisp biting exhilarating white crystalline sparkling hissing whispering tickling tingling winter morning in the white shrouded ever forest search path of your mind. Wisdom only arrives when you wander away from looking for it. Don’t forget that it is what you want. Just let your mind wander away, which is the true seed of wisdom anyway. Then, it will find you. And you will be in love.

Were I a published writer, I would rather see my books burned in a NAZI bonfire than digitized by Google without so much as a by-your-leave.

I feel sorry for the rat that had to eat Arnold Schwartzenegger’s boogers. No wonder he just stood there and let himself be shot. It was suicide by henchman.

I will accept whatever comes. Mantra. Brings immediate sense of peace and happiness. It makes me feel untethered.

Ultimate truth is realizing that you do not need to search for ultimate truth. It is already within you.

The Bible is not a book about God and religion. It is a psychological case study of the human race. Genesis is a treatise on the effects of puberty on the human mind. Take it from there.

Whatever you try to destroy, will try to destroy you. Whatever you try to create, will try to create you.

Still, there is neither creation nor destruction, but only change. Or, maybe there is. It’s just words.

Wanting is better than having. You can want all you want. But, having is realizing the extent of your own inadequacies.

It’s Paul Revere’s 277th birthday. If Paul Revere were alive today, it would be damned peculiar.

This is a note I left for Mike Mignola, creator of Hellboy, on his web site: I just wanted to thank you for creating and making the body of work that is Hellboy. Among all of comicdom’s antiheroes, Red is the most human. For me, he inspires a sense of goodness in the world, that goes beyond destined character. He’s just a cool guy that I’d like to hang with. How many superheroes invite that kind of kinship? Not many, and I’m thinking of the big ones as I write this. Thank you, Mr. Mignola. You done good.

All artists are insane. Writers, daydreaming for a living; dancers, contorting themselves publicly; sculptors, painters, poets, all just plain mad. Everything they do is outside of the boundary of reality. They show us things that don’t occur naturally, and hope that we viewers can see some meaning in it. Inventors are mad, too, I suppose, creating new things that do new things to make life better. All imagination is mad, and we humans are the only ones who use it. Or maybe not. Maybe other species on this planet use imagination and we just haven’t noticed it yet. Maybe it’s wrong to call it madness. Still, those people who have no imagination at all, they can’t figure out where artists get all their crazy ideas from. I guess madness is just relative.

War is responsible for, like, 90% of human progress in science, medicine, technology, cybernetics, process control, just about everything that pushes our civilization forward. Even the arts, stories, novels, poetry, music, dance, paintings and the like, pushed forward by response to horrible conflict. Without war, civilization becomes complacent, except for the rare individuals like Tesla, Edison, Marconi, only a few in each generation who pursue for the sake of unquenchable curiosity. But effort that spans civilization requires the incentive of the threat of extinction. I think, and this is frightening, that America is a warlike country not because we like attacking and killing, but because we use war like an innoculation to our national creativity, to push everyone from the janitor to the CEO to constantly think or new ways to do things, or just incentive to do better faster tomorrow. I hate to say this, but we may be great because of, not in spite of, being at war all the time. We need to be at war to be where we are. War has become our most effective tool for progress. I fear, also, that this may mean we will carry war into space. We cannot afford to leave it behind, in fear of losing our edge. The hawks may be the correct ones, after all. I wish I were wrong.

What’s it all for? Why am I here? The only solid conclusion I have come to so far, the only one that is not based on speculation, is that everything we do is to keep our minds off the fact that we are going to die.

Life is one long drawn out pain in the ass gleefully interrupted by death.

Human beings have a tendency to adopt the most comforting lie.

Everyone should read “The Way Of The Peaceful Warrior.” And all the Carlos Castaneda books. Just for the different perspective. And all of Hunter Thompson’s gonzo journalism. And every volume of the “Hitchhiker” “trilogy.” And Tolkien and C. S. Lewis, and Lovecraft, Simak, Bester, Heinlein, Tevis, Lewis Carrol, Hugo, LeGuin, McCaffrey, Brunner, and Ayn Rand. Read them all, and then look at the world with new eyes.

There’s a new drug called Stelara that does I don’t know what, but its proprietary name is ustekinumab. I kid you not. They’re just fucking with us now. Really. There’s no excuse for that kind of nonsense.

Don’t get angry. Get determined. It’s quite true that it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on. Yet, it is not necessary to get angry. Anger interrupts reason and without reason, actions are rash and likely to promote further confusion and corruption. Turning anger into determination to solve the problem at hand is the only sensible route.

Why didn’t Ella just leave? It’s not as if it was in a day of structured families with guardianship and custody. They didn’t even have birth certificates back then. Ella knew the whole house. She cleaned everything. She must have known where the money was. She did all the shopping. She would have had access to the safe or whatever. She could have been out of there and off to Carpathia before anyone would know which direction she took. It’s not as if the wicked stepmother and ‘sisters would have been able to pursue her. Without money, their vaporous popularity would have evaporated. Big shrug. Ella would have gotten away scot free and made herself a new life, maybe starting up a housecleaning business, hiring all the oppressed orphan girls and providing them with a decent place to sleep and business and etiquette skills. We’re talking the beginning of GRRRL power in the twelfth century. The whole world would have been different. A whole culture of capitalist business Amazons spreading out across Europe, organizing and liberating. It would have been the end of violent colonialization and the beginning of cooperative capitilization spreading out across the globe. African women, native American women (how come no one ever says native African women?), Asian women, all uniting against the violent dictates of the men. What an interesting alternate history…

Christianity is a fiction. Sex is a reality. Which do you think will persevere?

Man invented god so that he could make believe that he would never be forgotten.

Space… the Final Blunder.
These are the spoilages of the Starcrap Internalize.
Its five episode intermission:
to exploit deranged nude girls,
to eek out lowlife and low minimum wages
to snowjob where no snow has been jobbed before.

When God shows you an acid dream, it’s time to wake up.

I don’t know how many times, when I was a kid, I would awaken in the middle of the night to hear the sound of the television hissing with end-of-broadcast static. I would walk silently out of my room after taking a minute or more to silently turn the knob and open my door. There would be my parents in their respective chairs, asleep and breathing deeply. My mother on the couch. My father in his La-Z-Boy, which my mother often joked about taking in the back yard and soaking with gasoline and setting alight to dance around it. Step by perilous step, I would pad across the living room carpet to the television. With every step I would scrutinize my parents for any move or sound. I was on a mission. Getting caught was failure. At the TV I would slowly turn down the volume to nothing, maybe over the course of five minutes. At least, it felt as if it were that long. With the sound down, all silent, I could hear my parents breathing or snoring quietly. I would then turn the television off, again in complete silence. Whether the off position required a twist or a push, I would hold on to that knob for dear life. It must not click or snap. The plastic case of the TV would resonate like a drum. I could feel it click, but must not hear it. The TV would turn off. The room would become less bright, the static image replaced by an ugly greenish gray. Then, I would creep back to my room, just as slowly, still on mission. Behind me I would close my door and lay me down to sleep. This happened as if it were my job, when I was a kid. I guess I was destined to be the guy who lives quietly by himself. It’s my job to watch the world, but for what I cannot yet guess.

I just figured it out. God was invented to erase peoples’ sense of privacy. The idea that there is an entity that can observe you even when you are alone, turns privacy into shame. It is an attack on individuality. If you are never alone, if there is never any chance at privacy, you are constantly being watched and judged. You are not in control of your own life. You have no right to your own life and your own privacy. You do not own yourself. God does. And someone else is always telling you what God wants for you and from you. The whole concept of God is an attack on individualism. This is why God must be eliminated. There can never be a level of tolerance between believers and those who have no use for belief. The believers will never accept that some have the right not to believe. The belief system requires that all believe, or be made to believe even up to the use of force, as has been well and aptly demonstrated time and time again throughout history. Individualists have never stooped to using force to promote individualism. Religious believers and other collectivists have never hesitated to exert force and violence against individualists. That is the difference, and that is what must be fought.

The fact that most drugs are illegal for pleasurable purposes (except for alcohol and tobacco which are just too large as established industries for the medical industry to fight, and we see how successful Prohibition was) shows that doctors are not interested in fostering pleasure as such, but in fostering health for people to be free to build pleasurable lives around them, rather than seeking the immediacy of pleasure from drugs without the need for a pleasurable life as such. It is much better and much more pleasurable to have a life full of natural pleasure than to have a life full of natural misery offset by an artificial pleasure that will eventually kill the patient (to doctors, we are all patients.) So, the anti-narcotic philosophy is not angry, oppressive domination, but sincere caring by individuals for the general population of fellow humans who really don’t know better and need to be guided. Therefore, drugs should not be made legal, but the effort toward fostering a more happy world must be more strongly attended. We have to support our doctors. They support us.

Antimatter is matter moving backward in time. That’s why the particle and orbital spin and the charges are reversed. Antimatter is matter heading back toward the big bang. There is as much antimatter as there is matter. All the antimatter and matter meet at the beginning and cause the big bang. Still, remember that the big bang is only a tiny fraction of what was going on in reality at that moment. There are those cosmic membranes, to which our entire universe is just a minor wrinkle. I always try to see myself from a point of view outside the Milky Way galaxy. One must keep a proper perspective.

Mystery writers are murderers who are too chicken to do the deed.

Follow the drugs far enough up the chain, and you will find that it’s all controlled by white guys.

We live in a world of leaders and followers. It’s the way our speci developed. People are always looking around for someone to tell them what to do. Otherwise they just sit and watch TV or play ball or sleep or go out for a walk or a drive. Things wouldn’t get done. It’s in our genes. But the leaders we choose (or are led to choose, so who are the real leaders?) are not always deserving of the role or the title. This is the flaw of civilization. As Ursula K. LeGuin coined so aptly in the title “Vaster Than Empires And More Slow,” our civilization is self-correcting, but it may not reach a correction in time to save all the people who are hurt or killed by any incidental flaw. That’s the breaks.

To be beautiful, talented, and ambitious. Of which I am none. Ya gotta want it. I want none of it. Or I don’t know what I’m missing. I just don’t know anymore.

Time is the orbit of all things.

The star gate opens. The star gate closes. As unimaginably titanic forces are balanced against each other with precision that would make a scalpal blush, two ends of a crowded universe are joined as one in wholly mathemony for a period of exactly i over the square root of seven. (That’s how I would have written it. A little bit Clarke, a little bit Adams. Which doesn’t come out as trite and poetic as I was hoping, because there’s only one way to say ‘A little bit country, a little bit rock’n’roll’ and get away with it. Feh. Can’t be all great days.)

If there is no Heaven, then Earth suddenly becomes very important.

I live in complete privacy. My five foot tall windows are five feet from the floor beneath a ten foot ceiling. All I can see through the windows are trees and sky, even though I live in a suburban neighborhood in a rural part of New York. Every other human being on Earth could disappear and I would not know it until I drive away for work and see no automobile traffic or pedestrians at the intersection of Routes 208 and 52 and Bank Street, which has the first traffic light that I encounter during my sojourn to work. However, I might unthinkingly mistake it for Sunday, which sometimes has little to no traffic at the hour at which I leave, possibly due to grogginess from little sleep to which I am sometimes subject. People who do spend more than a few minutes conversing with me find me amazing. My usual opinion is why aren’t other people like me, or contrarily why am I not like other people? I would probably have to be one like them to understand the difference, but then I would not be different enough to notice the difference. In that case I would think someone like me was amazing or just plain weird or spooky. In this reality, I am the spooky one and I know too much about them to be comfortable in their presence.

A faceless self-satisfied voice from Flushing told me today that I had to get my doctor to purgor herself by reporting that I can attend to my job without the use of any painkillers, so that I may better attend to the corporation’s wants and needs, which are essentially the declarations of a self-appointed god. I’m lawyering up. Well, that went well. I’m in the wrong as usual. What a twit.

I went Sunday without taking Vicodin at work. I took my usual seven pills in the morning, but spent the day at work in a tedium of groaning pain. Of course, it keeps me from falling asleep at my post. But, it makes me want to leave and kill myself. I don’t think a paycheck at the low end of tolerable is worth suffering that much pain at the behest of my employer. That Tingle woman can go shit in her hat.

Truth is the only thing that makes life worth living.

When matter became aware of itself… People keep calling it a miracle. What if the event, this phenomenon, was actually inevitable? Like materials coallesce. Proteins, amino acids, lipids, minerals, water, joined together to make people. Is it really so miraculous? Or are we just convincing ourselves of a fallacy that the event is rare, just because it has not occurred elsewhere within our field of view? We forget that our view is very limited and imprecise. We may just not have seen how inevitable and commonplace is this phenomenon that we call life. Life is, after all, just a particular configuration of mass and energy. Life is any system that become enthalpic, requiring more energy to achieve greater complexity, as opposed to nonliving existence, which is entropic, losing energy and order to the chaos of osmosis. Look for entropy, and there is life. Simple, really.

People get the government they want. Americans are paranoid and want immediate gratification. So, they have gotten Homeland Security and Walmart. It was inevitable.

Just watching a movie called Unthinkable. So many pictures try to out-do Appoclypse Now. Like spy movies trying to out-do Three Days of the Condor (they didn’t have enough film for Six Days, I suppose, or maybe the stars would have had to be paid double, or probably not, since, I think, if memory serves, and I don’t feel like looking it up even though I am sitting at a computer, that Robert Redford was one of the Producers.) It’s the Kane Syndrome. Everyone tries to out-do, even though they know in their heart of hearts that they cannot, but still they try. That’s that craxy thing called Faith, I suppose. [My mind just inadvertantly (or intentionally? who knows the workings of the Subconscious?) invented the word “craxy”–sort of crazy but not really; crazy from another dimension, maybe. The Secretary will deny all knowledge.] Can a grande guignol accomplish more than Colonel Kurtz and his little arms? Shakespeare was so fond of speeches and soliloqueys for a reason. Like Charles Osgood, he was of a mind with Will Rogers who preferred radio because the pictures are better. The greatest plays are the ones that play out inside your own skull.

One need only attend a steampunk party to realize the depths of human pretentiousness. That and the Society for Creative Anachronism. And the North-South Skirmish Society. And every Renaissance Faire ever produced. Christ, it’s endless, isn’t it? Actually, since it’s history, it is endless. What was I thinking? Can you imagine the superpeople of centuries to come dressing up as nerds and lawyers from the late 20th Century? How amusing would that be?

Life is not a punishment to be endured but a problem to be solved. That’s why the world’s greatest people have always been scientists and philosophers. They are the champions of why and how.

Inside every woman is an angry little girl.

All scientists are detectives. In fact, the only difference between the two is that a scientist pursues elusive particles and a detective pursues elusive criminals.

If we were to get rid of the corporations, that their psychosis resulted in their expulsion, their expiation, what would replace them? Would our way of life need to disappear? Would we need to adopt an entirely different culture? Can we survive without the corporations? Are we trapped with them in the same small room?

There is only one thing that parents never fail to pass on to their children, and that is stupidity.

Waves of melody crashing against cliffs of percussion. How’s that for a line?

Given the opportunity to know what things are worth… People are stunted when they are poor from birth…

Pregnancy is a form of cancer. The phoetus is a tumor in that it feeds from its host and provides nothing in return. It is parasitic. It grows obtaining nutrient from its host. It has DNA which is a mutation of the host’s. It is a tumor.

I like these “Who Knew?” books they’re advertising on the tube these days. Learn Grandma and Grandpa’s secrets, indeed. Soon as I heard that, my mind clicked into: “Yeah… Grandma liked to play the horses and Grandpa was a chorus girl.” Eh. It’s a gift.

Parents are supposed to have no self-doubt. If the child sees the parent doubting their own skill, the child’s sense of self-worth can be shattered. True reinforcing parenthood is a form of monomania, with an audience comprising children.

“You see? That’s what happens when you keep people from doing what they do best. It makes them insane.” Det. David Goren

You know what living on the edge means? Being $24,000 in debt and one second away from unemployment. That’s living on the edge.

“See your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer…” There are unauthorized Mercedes-Benz dealers?

Out of all the things we do, sleeping and dreaming are the only thing that don’t fit. Everything else has a definite place in reality. The only thing for which no one has an explanation is dreams. There are guesses. Some rabid declarations. But dreams are the only thing that don’t offer even the hope of a hint of purpose. Dreams are the only things in reality that don’t do anything. That means… dreams are everything. They are the only thing. That’s where to start looking. What doesn’t fit is the key to everything.

Rich Hall saved my life. I was thinking about killing myself, which is all I ever do about it, and I turned on Top Gear, and there was Rich Hall being funny as ever. He made me laugh and I stopped thinking of killing myself. Ain’t life grand?

Doesn’t the rainbow prove that light in space (not outer space–the space all around us, the space between our subatomic particles) operates on levels of harmonics? If light were just variation of frequency, the rainbow would display a continuous shift of color from just above infrared to just below ultraviolet. Instead, it displays distinct bands of harmonic purity. Or–and this is a big or–our optical mechanism can only perceive those harmonics. Is the phenomenon a function of light in space, or a function of our perception. The easiest way to test this hypothesis is to scan the rainbow with a colorimeter. If it reports distinct bands of similar frequency, then space is sensitive to harmonic frequencies. If the meter reports continuous change from one frequency to the next across the visible spectrum, then it is our visual mechanism that is limited by harmonic frequency sensitivity. Why one or the other is yet to be pondered.

I’ve noticed lately I’m always in an extremely suicidal frame of mind when I wake up. After a while, usually halfway into the first cup of coffee and waiting for the pain meds to kick in, maybe with a bit of teevee, it goes away and life becomes mildly interesting again. Wierd dreams every night, but that’s de rigueur. I don’t know why mornings have become so bad.

The Realtors® (have to put that in there–they’re very touch of anyone using their ridiculous title without permission–maybe I’ll copyright the word Faketor, being a writer or at least very serious daydreamer) are pushing home ownership in teevee ads again, trying to convince everyone that it’s the key to self esteem, national coherence, and universal well being. Didn’t the apocalypse of five years ago leave an impression on anyone? And now Dow is advertising with a walking shrub man trying to convince everyone that they are ecofriendly in an Olympic fashion. I suppose they don’t advertise in Bopal, India. And General Electric is all ecofriendly, too, and they do advertise in the Hudson Valley. Power’s greatest ally is a short public memory.

Cancer is not a disease. It is a side effect of the design. Mutation is necessary. By definition, a controlled mutation is oxymoronic. Some mutations just don’t work.

Life is bullshit for a reason. It’s so we don’t become too attached to it.

However, I don’t think that we humans will annihilate ourselves. I think that if some politician wants to start World War III, the guy standing next to him will think of his wife and kids, and everyone else’s wife and kids, and turn and kill that politician to save the world. Probability is totally against enough people who are totally psychotic having sole access to something globally destructive. There will always be enough sensible people standing nearby to stop the psychopaths from starting the end. A problem is that one of the things that drive some people toward political power is an overwhelming and paranoid drive to destroy anything that is deemed a threat, no matter how twisted the criteria. Our so called democratic process, being a total scam now controlled by corporate boards, allows for too many psychos in offices of power.

MTV was banal to begin with, and there have been only a handful of truly artistic videos, along with Daria and Aeon Flux to qualify its existence, but after watching a few minutes of something called Ridiculousness, I am convinced the future is Idiocracy.

I never noticed before, but Tony the Tiger has jaundice.

Things don’t matter. It’s what you do with those things, and why.

Pleasure is not the same as happiness. They are intertwined, or should be in the best of situations, but can and very often are separate. One can be helpless, wracked with pain, with no options, and still be happy, if that one takes ownership of the pain. Meaning: to know that the current condition is one’s and one’s alone, and to realize that a situation acknowledged can be a situation that can be changed. To take ownership is to acknowledge one’s limits and one’s strengths. It is the epiphany of selfhood. The being of being. And that is where happiness comes from. Pleasure is temporary and temperamental. Selfhood, once earned, is the happiness that cuts through anything and everything. Happiness and pleasure don’t always lead to one another, but happiness is the purer goal and the greater prize.

Funny thing about suicide. You’re only suicidal if you actually commit the act. Commit TO the act. Do it. If you call someone ahead of time, if you “try” in a way that may not work, it ain’t really suicide, is it? It’s a cry for help, as the whiny piddly-widdlies are so fond of exasperating. Ya gots ta do it ta be it. No half measures. Do or do not. Try there is not. To quote a small snot colored snot sized pint of deformity formerly known as a Jedi master. And part time Latex puppet, now committed to CGI in the afterlife. The bearded Jedi master is gone but Frank Oz remains to fight the good fight. Not that there’s any fighting on Sesame Street. I wonder if I could learn/teach myself to passably play the piano in two weeks? Week and a half. Well, an hour a day for six months, gotta learn something. Eighteen hours a day for ten days, also gotta learn something, if not how to play through cramped hands. Interesting postulate.

Either everything means something, or nothing means anything. There is no middle ground.

Or, maybe there is.

Life is a process of turning fantasy into reality. This is the only criterion of success.

We understand as much about the universe as a bacterium understands a computer.

Jesus Christ, it’s all emotions. From the moment you’re born to the moment you die, that’s all that qualifies this bullshit. Survival is for spiders. We humans are cursed with feelings, and that’s what makes us more than zombies.

Madness in real life in neither fun nor profitable. Video games serve the purpose, in allowing people to exercise mad behavior without restraint, in an environment that not only promotes such behavior but rewards it. These games are the walking dream that allow many to continue to exist in reality without causing undue concern for others for whom reality is, apparently, enough. In my opinion, the former are the far more interesting people to meet.

Life is just a nonexistent character between parentheses.
A ghost told me the most parenthetically beautiful word is goodnight.

It is not the monsters that we may become, but the monsters that we are. For who can resist change? Those who try face extinction, for only evolution is immortality in the face of ever changing reality. The only other course is to remain forever, unchanged, static, unlearned, ungrown, unsweetened, unmatured, unrealized. Immortality is only for those who stand and wait.

Commerce is a popularity contest. Some admirable civiliation, eh? Douglas Adams was right.

Fresh coffee, fresh tobacco, and blue denim on a woman’s thigh. These are scents I will miss when this world is gone.

Caught another camel cricket today. Walking on the carpet next to my chair, exploring. Put it on the front porch as usual. This place must be camel cricket central station.

Is it just me, or does the water in the heating system sound faintly like the announcer from a 1970s detective show?

The best you can do is try to arrange things so that your life is as fun as possible and that your death is as painless as possible. That’s it. It’s all just a pattern of mass and energy from one end of the universe to the other. There is nothing caring for you and looking out for you. Never has been. That’s just the way it is. The universe doesn’t care what you think. It doesn’t think. It has no cares. It just is. You just are. For now. And it’s always over before you’re done. It doesn’t get any better than that. You are the latest pattern of those molecules and that energy. Sometime later it will be something else’s molecules and energy. Just swirls in the pattern. That’s all we are.

Wearing visibly brand named anything is just announcing to the world whose bitch you are.

Some people are very ambitious and get things done. I can’t see myself succeeding at anything, and I don’t know why that is.

There is no happiness without piness. (Do not give this to a militant Lesbian to read on the air.)

No one is appreciated who is living and creating on the cutting edge. Only after it becomes dull do others feel safe enough to approach.

All the bastards want my skin, but I’ll be wearing theirs. Just a quick lyric.

I just realized how Christmas got screwed up. It was the season for forgiving. Somewhere along the line, somebody left off one of the “for”s. It became the season for giving. Not forgiving. Do you see what I’m talking about?

Have you ever walked through the forest where the dappled sunlight feels like warm kisses in the cool rain?

The universe creates what it wants, what it needs. It created us to imagine, to dream.

Spiders love coffee. Don’t ask.

God created life so that he could have something to eat.

I would rather be a magnificent failure than a mediocre success. I don’t think that’s an original saying.

Anarchists are the ultimate optimists. We believe that mankind will survive long enough to become a species of individuals who do the right thing all the time without needing to be told.

It’s easier for us to see a galaxy 13.3 billion light years away than it was for Colombus to see the New World from the shore of Spain.

Pain is a gift. It’s life’s little way of telling you you are still alive. Death is the last gift you will ever receive. It’s the one you can’t give back.

Life doesn’t have to be long, but it has to be worth it.

Religion: lies that give the cowardly power over the stupid.

Everything is made of light.

The Constitution is not a set of rules imposed on many by few. It is a contract signed by every American citizen. It is signed with the blood of the brave ones who died defending it.

All of human civilization, billions of lives over millions of years, trillions of man and? woman hours of struggle and strife and accomplishment and failure, have led to this moment. The crowning achievement of the human species. The cat fountain.

Religion is one excuse people have for being idiotic. Love, money, and revenge are others.

The Internet is the worst thing that ever happened to stupidity.

My cat eating a whole can of food in one sitting is like me eating three pounds of food in one sitting. How the hell does he do it? No wonder he’s sleeping right now. He’s probably in a coma.

The root of all evil is the belief that things are more important than people.

The universe is a two-way street with a big bang at each end. Each lane is the antithesis of the other. One way is matter and time. The other antimatter and antitime. As the universe grows old it encounters a great pool of antimatter waiting at the other end. Big bang. The whole thing starts up again going in the opposite direction. Until it grows old and encounters a great pool of matter waiting at the other end. Forward and backward through time forever.

I have this feeling that Harry Potter will end up being J. K. Rowling’s Charles Foster Kane.

I had a dream, I went to live in a big house on an island. I got to the island and I had to walk for a long way through dry undergrowth pulling a wagon to get there. And then I was thinking about the house at night, and there was a light on it, a light bulb like in a window, and I was sort of looking at a map of the island and hoping it wasn’t on the shipping lanes. I was sort of worried it would get hit. Then later my dad was there, and there was a black cat living at the house. And my dad and I went away through the undergrouwth with the wagon, and the cat stayed and ate a meal. And we never came back, and the cat stayed and I kind of wondered what he would eat. But he did not seem unhappy to stay at the house.

A world just of air, and air alone.

Waking hurts. It hurts to be awake. I sleep, I dream, that’s where I want to be. I wake up, I’m here in this hell, it hurts. That about sums it up.

When am I going on tour? Well, I could say when Hell freezes over, but the Vikings believe that Hell is a frozen wasteland not unlike a Republican heart (as opposed to the fetid swamp of crocodile tears that is the Democrat heart–I am an equal opportunity disparager.) So, to be realistic, I can state with assurance that I will be going on tour immediately after the heat-death of the universe. So, hold your breath. No, really, hold your breath. I have a running bet over how many new recruits I can line up for Blue Man Group. (Fantasy response to such a question on my imaginary web page from which I sell my self-produced albums.)

The greatest writers were haunted by death. Poe, Clemens, Dostoyevski, Hemingway, Fitzgerald, all bathed in tragedy.

If I had a million dollars, I wouldn’t be doing anything differently than I am right now, and that’s the definition of pathetic.

Religion is the enemy of the mind.

I can’t understand how scientists can say that the Universe started from nothing, that there was just a Big Bang and no-time and no-space became time and space. No one has come up with a clear explanation of why this Big Bang happened. They just accept that it did. That sounds more like the prattle of religious zealots than a statement of scientific certainty. I still prefer my theory that matter is moving forward through time to collide with a mass of antimatter at the end of time which is proceeding backward in time to collide with a mass of matter at the beginning of time. Two big bangs, closed loop, explains a lot.

Why did the brony postpone his video? He was feeling a little hoarse.

Nice people don’t strive for power. Nice people don’t end up running corporations. Generally, corporations are not run by nice people. Neither are governments. Nice people who strive to protect other people from the not-nice people usually end up beaten, like Mahatma Ghandi and Steve Biko, burned, like Jean d’Arc (although she herself may not have been that nice, basically being a tool of one bureaucracy against another, with a sword,) or crucified, like Jeshua Ben Joseph. Where is the evil in the corporation or the government? If all the people leave the building, it is just furniture and communication tools sitting there idly waiting for people to return. The evil must be in the people but it manifests when they are situated in the setting of the corporation or government. Where a great bureaucracy shields the individual making decisions from accountability for the results of that decision, any manner of great evil can occur. Since the entity seeks the shortest, most expedient, least costly, and most profitable route to conclusion, any who are not part of the entity can be subject to all sorts of hijinks from which they have no protection nor recourse. Accountability is the key. All decisions and processes must become transparent to eliminate the threat of corporate and government power to the people at large.

There is no such thing as winning or losing. There is only keeping yourself busy between now and death.

Happiness is a lie your parents tell you about to keep you from thinking about taking vengeance upon them for bringing you into this miserable existence.

The game of political entities is control of the board, as with any game. That it ignores human suffering is what makes it monstrous.

Clumping is a natural process of the universe. It applies to everything.

Things are just things. Ideas are what count. But that gets half of it wrong. Things are as important as ideas. Without things, ideas are just daydreams. You can think about music all you like, but without things, even the simple act of clapping the hands or hitting a rock with a stick, the music is nothing more than a daydream. Things are important, and the right things at the right time are most important.

Every time I go to look for answers in the Internet, I end up clicking the Close button in frustration. When will I learn not to go back?

Revenge doesn’t mean shit. It really doesn’t.

A virus standing on a bacterium standing on a flea standing on a dog standing on an elephant standing on a whale has more impact on the whale than Man has on the Universe.

America is great because white people are better at genocide.

Life is like a fish trying to light a cigarette.

Everybody’s just making it up as they go along. Nobody really knows anything.

The existence of entertainment proves that life is intrinsically miserable. If life were at its core happy and people were capable of natural happiness just due to being alive, entertainment never would have been invented.

A man who had disguised himself as a zombie was shot dead today by a fellow bus passenger who actually thought he was a zombie, thus proving that Americans are ready for the zombie apocalypse, and that Americans are both heavily armed and batshit insane.

I watch Yuja Wang play Chopin Opus 64. I understand now.

Nothing is ever as enjoyable as I expect.

I don’t know how anyone can look at this planet and think that there is a god. Any god who would let all this happen would have to be stone cold batshit insane.

Man is the most horrible creature on Earth, possibly in the Universe. He professes to be the only creature that understands love and is capable of love, yet he destroys everything in the most painful way possible. Man is as insane as the god he worships.

When someone says “You can’t…” they’re always projecting.

You can kill your enemies or you can help them become better people. Which kind are you?

Are you looking for America? Look in a mirror.

This is how prejudice works, children. It puts up a wall of negative certainty between the bigot and the world, through which no reasonable argument can reach, and by which the moron can be safe from actually having to think. Kind of like religion.

Cats are the only animals in nature with a sense of equity. While a dog may devotionally swear its life to you, a cat will leave you a dead mouse after you leave out plates of food for it. Some animals may be more intelligent, but cats can recognize the other. They acknowledge otherness.

The only thing worse than smoking is not smoking.

If the first intelligent alien race we meet is decended from cows, diplomatic relations are going to be a nightmare.

The two most important substances on Earth, air and water, are colorless, odorless, and flavorless. No wonder people are bored.

Success: the right brain in the right body at the right place at the right time. All other cases: failur.

After a few days without cigarettes, if this is what real life feels like, then fuck real life.

The human species is a slime mold living on the rotting testicle that is planet Earth.

To be a thinking mind trapped in this slimy snot-lubricated pustulant meatbag is the worst insult in existence.

I am developing a helicopter for turtles, so they can cross the road without being run over.

What is the fun of trying to kill something that can’t kill you back?

There is no turning back from life. It is going to destroy you. You must fulfill your promise while you can. Or don’t. Not that anyone gives a shit.

We’re all abandoned pets.

Nobody runs for President who isn’t in the corporate pocket. No one who would fight the system would be allowed to win.

Censorship is a society lobotomizing itself.

No matter how bad it feels to quit smoking, smoking will eventually feel worse. Great. So I have a choice between bad and worse. Any more bright ass ideas about why I SHOULDN’T kill myself?

Everyone who uses a god as an excuse to prolong ignorance is reinventing that god in their own image.

The doctrine of sacrifice is always preached by those in power to those whose sacrifice provides the power.

Video games should be designed so that each time the player loses a game the people who made the game get an electric shock.

Life is horror.

Consciousness, sapience, is just one functional structure of the universe, like magnetism and gravitation.

“Everybody Wants to Rule the World” is the anthem of the ’80s. It is the whole spirit and voice of a feeling, as if the eco-awareness of the ’60s had come together with the techno-progressiveness of the ’70s to create a new sense of future unfolding, and the world was poised on the brink of become a child’s garden of grass all watched over by machines of loving grace. What a bunch of assholes we were.

My body is a thing. I am what my body does. I am a process. When the body ceases to function the process ceases to exist.

Humans: So easy to train, even a cat can operate one.

The only thing I have found that is never boring is pain.

The only reason there are so many boring people is that fucking becomes the least boring thing in some people’s lives and that leads to the procreation of more bored people, so the only way to eliminate bored and boring people is to eliminate boredom and make sure life is always better than sex so that they won’t fuck and procreate and the boring people will die out through attrition.

Listening to Tom Waits is like suddenly waking up and realizing you’re walking through twilight along the straw strewn by-ways of a county fair from hell written by Ray Bradbury by the light of a full moon on midnight of October Friday the 13th some time in the late 45th Century and everyone looking at you is the ghost of a robot and they are hungry.

The law must apply equally to everyone or it applies to no one. If that repressive little hairpiece wants to be able to say what he thinks he should have a right to say, then Zappa has to have the same right to say what he thinks he should have a right to say. The law is neither conservative nor liberal, but equal. The job of government is to act as equalizer, mediator in all disputes, private, public, local or international. It should serve no other purpose. Only a fool would say otherwise. (After watching a video of Frank Zappa rebuking Republican windbag John Lofton.)

This is why women know they’re in charge, because men need special care. (After watching a Yamimash hot pepper sauce challenge, i.e. swallowing a spoon of hot sauce after every death in Gears of War 3.)

If it isn’t zombies it’s Nazis. Or zombie Nazis. Because it’s sooooo difficult to make someone look heroic and sympathetic under Nazis. What a challenge. Let’s write a book about being brave in the face of book burning Nazis. Oh yeah, we could use another one of those. How about a book about why six million people let themselves be herded into cattle cars. Because if six million people had stood up as one and said NO, the 25,000 Nazis that were around then wouldn’t have stood a flipping chance. (After watching a trailer for the film The Book Thief.)

Man invented the spiritual to escape causality, and it works until you get hungry or cold or injured. Then it’s all physical again.

The universe sleeps, and we are the dream of the universe. Some day, the sleeper must awaken.

I just saw a listing for a job opening for Entry Level COO, Chief Operating Officer. That’s like Apprentice General.

Everything is an answer to a question.

The game doesn’t care whether you win or lose. The game doesn’t care whether you play at all.

Having something for tomorrow seems to be the constant idea, to ignore the fact that it’s all meaningless and that creating a subjective meaning is better than facing the no meaning. My constant complaint. But you really don’t have to create anything for tomorrow, you don’t have to bring anything to it. Tomorrow always brings something to you. Tomorrow will arrive regardless of your wishes. Tomorrow doesn’t care whether you care or not.

Si igitur potes intelligere, hoc omnino culus tibi.

Corruption will always have more money than virtue.

In failing to create a true human being, one only creates a creature of infinite sorrow.

It is less terrifying to meet a bear in the woods than it is to fall in love.

Faith is a madness some minds need to ignore the horror of being alive.

What causes sorrow is the weight of life. But, when you realize that life weighs nothing, sorrow disappears.

Dogs like to drink from the toilet for the same reason that humans like to drink from the milk carton.

If a good German had stood up and punched Hitler in the mouth, World War II might never have happened.

Recording things to share is expecting other people to spend their future in your past. That’s presumptuous.

I have this vision of “300” remade with Kurt Cobain as Leonidas and Jordan Rudess as Xerxes.

I have survived in spite of my incompetence. What does that say about the nature of reality?

We are not what we think we are.

There is only one thing you can be sure of, and that is uncertainty.

Rust and blood are pretty much the same thing.

There is no great mystery; we are merely the universe trying to figure itself out.

Amused bemused cemused demused.

I’m a plebeian who buys 32-oz. cans of coffee for $6 and change, Columbian. The K-Cup isn’t the worst invention the world has ever seen, but if we could get rid of it along with atomic bombs and murdering robot death drones, the world would be a better place. What amazes me is, as our civilization winds down and fewer and fewer people are producing less and less while a smaller and smaller handful of super powerful people get richer and richer, the only thing anyone can think of is how to extract more and more money from everyone else’s pockets while providing less and less product. I guess until outright thievery becomes legal, the K-Cup will do. I know I’ve worked for a few corporations that would sell their employees’ internal organs on the black market if they could get away with it. Why not? China does it regularly with the organs of prisoners executed for bookkeeping errors. Yep, same people that get all those glass shards and asbestos in the baby food you buy at Wal-Mart. Where you buy your K-Cups. Ain’t that an interesting coincidence?

I haven’t had a cigarette in a week. It’s difficult to tell if I feel worse or better or the same than I did a week ago. I only stopped smoking to keep from coughing and to keep from wheezing in a way that felt terrifyingly close to suffocation after minimal exertion (leaving the house and getting into the car, for instance.) I am terrified of suffocating. Probably a claustrophobic reaction, or maybe agoraphobic, I haven’t had it analyzed. But my anxiety for the past week has been limited to periods of sort of panting with the feeling of pure air going into my lungs, feeling sort of the same way as a big gulp of soft vanilla ice cream, and a feeling of a prolonged silent scream somewhere in the depths of me. That’s probably been there for years. The “soft” “sweet” ice cream sensation of air is there only when I’ve gone without cigarettes. I can’t say I have quit smoking. There’s no feeling like having quit a job. I am just not smoking. I am not an ex-smoker any more than not breathing makes me an ex-breather. That would only make me dead. I’m just not smoking. It’s not fun. I can’t pretend it is and I can’t see how this gets to feel better after time, any more than hitting oneself with a hammer gets to feel better after time. One merely becomes innured to it. There are benefits, and there are defecits. We will see how much stronger my fear of suffocation is compared to my tolerance for total overwhelming anxiety and annoyance. That’s what my life has come to, a balancing act between terror and anxiety. Emerson was right. PS–13 days. Now I can think again.

If I believed in god, I could accept that we were put here because he needed a good laugh.

I like the feel of synthesizers. The warmth of plastic, the cold sucking reality of steel, the kinship of wood, the inviting friendship of knobs, sliders, switches, and keys, the beacons of lights and diodes. Software has none of that. It just has functionality. Functionality does not have heart.

Life is automatic.

An elevator is just a subway train that goes up and down.

Never get into a staring contest with a robot.

If Leonardo da Vinci were alive today, and had gotten $1 for every copy of The Last Supper alone, he’d be a billionaire.

I’m wondering if the entire movie of Bladerunner and the hit it became was arranged by the medical industry to keep the original story of Bladerunner from ever becoming a movie.

We all live in a cage we call Earth.

I have come to realize that I live like a homeless person. In a house.

Open Labs Timbaland Special Edition NeKo Keyboard. What do you do with a keyboard named after a musician who named himself after a pair of trendy outdoors boots that are worn by people who never get within a hundred miles of places for which such boots are intended?

Recently I passed up a mint Hartmann Neuron (in the original box) for $3000 and a mint Yamaha VL-1 for $1500. I am an idiot and a coward.

“Meaning” is just another way of going insane within limits in order to keep from going insane completely in the face of the total meaninglessness of the universe.

Life rewards the nasty.

My dreams are so interesting. My life is so . . . not worth pursuing. I don’t know why I keep waking up, except for having to go to the bathroom.

Waterworld is The African Queen and Treasure Island.

And, while we’re at it, Brütal Legend is Army of Darkness with a boatload of pretentious musicians. And Jack Black, who can’t hold a candle to Bruce Campbell.

I love how people always attack others’ right to have a contrary opinion in the Internet. And by “I love” I mean I am repulsed by the inevitable display of incipient stupidity that appears to be the hallmark of the human species. A handful of brains creates the Internet and then the mass of idiots gets to abuse it like an old whore. The world is constantly presented with what it needs, and it always ends up settling for what it deserves.
When some people’s natural behavior is frowned upon as a criminal act in the eyes of a god, they have no recourse but to keep it secret and never seek help or counseling. There is no welcoming community in the sunlight for such people. They have been criminalized. As you are doing here, they face being blamed for being victims when they are only looking for the same sense of belonging and self worth as anyone. Do you blame a cancer victim for having bad genes? Do you blame a tuberculosis victim for breathing the wrong air? No, they are not criminalized. But, when the vector is through a pleasurable act that everyone in their right mind should be able to enjoy, these people are vilified and disgraced. It is the church’s authoritarian domination over people’s access to some afterlife and to pleasure in this life that nullifies cultural interest in seeking a humanitarian and welcoming culture of assistance and understanding. Churches seek to cure people not of their ills, but of their independence of religious authority. The two most important things in life, the driving forces, are sex and death, and it is over these that every church capitalizes. Anyone who steps outside the bounds of accepted behavior is damned. Thus, to become a victim of these dreadful diseases is to become a sub-human unworthy of respect, kindness, understanding or sympathy. In such a climate, how is their small world ever going to feel like anything more than a penitentiary?

War is a failure of intellect.

Your body is made up of parts of a billion dead things. After you die your body will turn to dust and be absorbed into a billion other things. That’s all there is to it.

Life is fighting against boredom, pain, and regret, for no better reason than not to be bored, in pain, or sad.

I’m getting images of a 007/MLP crossover, On Her Majesty’s Secretive Service, wherein James Poned, Agent 00Clop, whose cutie mark is a white dinner jacket, on assignment from Princess C, has an amazing adventure with special assistitant Miss Moaniepony, whose cute mark is the sign of Cancer the crab, which looks suspiciously like the number 69. Disturbing.
If a god created the universe why did he [sic] create so much evidence that infers that his existence is improbable at best and impossible at most? I thought it was the devil’s greatest trick that he revealed that he didn’t even exist. Ah! That must mean god is the devil!

God wants you miserable. He wants you unable to live without him. The best vengeance to to be happy.

Human beings should know better but they don’t. I think this proves the universe is beyond hope.

Reply to an article in the Atlantic about “America’s Creepy, Surveillance-Endorsing Love of NCIS”: It’s a love/hate relationship. Our American Revolutionary roots demand that we tell the government to get stuffed. Our love of lazy Sunday afternoons with the lawnmower and a grill full of burgers without a care in the world demands that we have nothing leering at us from over the horizon. It’s a contradiction, but that’s America. If we must be scrutinized by somebody, let it be Gibbs. And Abby and Ducky and Tony and McGee and the new girl (sorry, still haven’t got her name memorized.) At least, them, we can trust. In reality, the ones watching us are probably 99% good, decent people who believe in their work. It’s that 1% that you wouldn’t trust alone in a room with your kids or the silverware that we have to concentrate on. Ben Franklin warned us about this. So did Eisenhower. As Americans, we must take the initiative and act on it. Rust never sleeps.

All meaning comes from the mind.

There is no redemption. There is only decay.

Language is how thoughts pass themselves from one brain to another.

In the Bible’s Old Testament, “knowing” means fucking. That means the tree of knowledge in Genesis means the tree of fuck. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Bananas? Plantains? Passion fruit? Breadfruit? Figs? Peaches? Cherries? Whoever wrote that book was the master of obfuscation. Unless it means the tree of evolution. Eyes wide. Christianity needed to hide the truth of evolution from the start.

The problem with humans is they think that consciousness is something special.

For some reason each man worships his own penis and he wants everyone else to worship it also. This is the beginning of all aggression.

From nothing come five kittens. Molecules lend themselves to collect into patterns that are self-sustaining and endothermic. Is life inevitable?

Reality does not like people who ignore it, and invents ways to dispose of them quickly.

Sport: the application of limited tools to the accomplishment of outlandish goals, thus requiring much practice to increase the skills inherrent in the player.

Sport promotor: some guy with a big mouth who realized he could get others to make him rich, thus ruining the game.

If human beings did not exist, cats would not have cheese. I think that answers that question.

I consider myself a hysterical pantheist. I believe all religions everywhere are hysterically funny.

Proof is the last thing that any religion wants. Proof is antithetical to the function of faith, which is the contradiction of reason.

What Minesweeper has to say about religion: That which is not based empiracally on fact is reduced to a guess based on sheer random chance. Thus there are many religions all of which are dead wrong but only one science which is dead right when proven right.

Taelor Burroughs8:28 PM

Hey Markiplier I believe u don’t trust teddy because in Anna the bear was evil in the end. So now ur mind has u stereotyping teddy. But besides that u have a new sub?
Taelor Burroughs8:32 PM

I met to say forget me not Annie instead of Anna sorry?
Michael Fink8:43 PM

ik rit ITS A DEMIN?
gridsleep9:31 PM


God that I don’t believe in help us if this is what passes for English these days. Ever watch that Outer Limits episode Soldier about a soldier from the far future who is accidentally transported back in time to the 20th Century, and he speaks this pidgin Spanish-Chinese-English-dog growl language that no one can understand? That is a lot of you typing in these bulletin boards. Please stop making English devolve into total nonsense so fast. If all thoughts, all communication are limited to six syllables at a time, eventually all great ideas will die and you will all be dog soldiers growling on a battlefield while your masters’ children dine in palaces.
PS–Michael Fink, even YouTube does not believe your post is English. It has placed a Translate link after it. A machine does not know that illiteracy does not translate.?
[The previous copied directly from a YouTube link list.]

People have delusions; it helps them get through their lives. If you remove the delusions, you are completely left with reality. It may be impossible for any human mind to handle that. Even you have your delusions. They keep you from completely believing what I am writing here. From accepting it as the truth. The only truth.

I am an anti-labelist.

The thing about training cats is, you have to get them to think it’s their idea.

A pile of kittens is better than any video game.

The truth is far from every human mind.

The size and complexity of any web site will always just slightly exceed the network’s ability to transmit its content in a reasonable amount of time.

Truth is not a cure for idiocy.

I went looking for absolute meaning and found there is none. There is cause and effect which probably as close as it gets.

If you sit by the riverbank, eventually the bodies of all of your enemies will come floating past. –Sun Tzu

God is for people who have stopped thinking, or never started.

I am confident that I will succeed or fail. I am confident that I will live until I die. I am confident that the world will keep turning after I am dead. I am confident that this sorrow I feel will end. That thought is all that sustains me.

Liberty: the art of sleeping with one eye open and keeping a round chambered at all times.

Love is a temporary pretense during which we pretend that we can ignore the randomness of eternity and the eternity of randomness.

We are fleas on the cosmic dog just waiting to be scratched out of existence.

The world is our toy and we keep breaking it.

Krishna: “Do you see the bird?” Arjuna: “No, only the eye.”

It was always my friends who broke my toys, and only later did I realize I never liked any of those assholes.

It’s not the dying; it’s the amount of pain and terror you have to go through before it stops.

The only fundamental difference between a human being and a car is that the car begins to rot from the moment it is assembled and the human being is self-repairing.

For every nice thing that can happen, there are ten thousand things that will make you sad, or scream in agony, or die.

Writers are people who turn their daydreams into your daydreams.

A writer without an audience is just a guy daydreaming. An actor without an audience is just a guy playing make-believe.

Depression is like being locked in a room, only the door isn’t really locked and you can reach out and turn the knob and open the door any time, but it feels as if you are locked in, so you can’t do anything.

We are all accidents waiting to happen.

If I were me, I’d listen to me, and not listen to me.

All super-heroes starting with Superman are the golem. All heroes like Tarzan, Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers are Robinson Crusoe.

Anyone who prefers a religious dogma that contradicts the facts of reality is a nitwit.

Sport is how a civilized man proves in public that he can fight and kill without actually fighting and killing which would be uncivilized.

There is nothing in a video game that can hit you as bad as reality when it decides to target you.

Drinking beer by myself sitting in front of the cornputer, $25,000 in debt, gave up all the hopes and dreams, sell everything just to keep on living but what for, what’s left besides dying?

Religion is the zombie apocalypse.

The American power elite love democracy, when it serves them, and they will lie, cheat, steal, blackmail and murder to get it.

Is there a beforelife? Remember anything from before you were born? I didn’t think so. Then there’s no afterlife.

There are no rewards in the end. You’re just a pile of dead meat.

The song of my life would sound like the mewlings of worms burrowing through a dead crow lying on top of a smoldering pile of dung in a forgotten and neglected corner of Hell.

People who want to live can’t understand people who don’t. They get scared and want to throw the ones they don’t understand into some kind of incarceration where they can be corrected and made to want to live so they aren’t saying scary things. That’s real motivation for wanting to talk about not liking being alive any more (sarcasm intended.)

Smoking doesn’t make me happy. It just makes breathing less boring.

American freedom has come to mean slavery for anyone who is not white and rich. Poverty is a crime against freedom.

The purpose of the corporation is to destroy humanity, because humanity is not profitable.

Lying is the worst crime in reality, and religion is the worst example of it. Religion is a perfectly good mind choosing to be stupid. That is unforgivable.

Religion is a communicable disease.

Any government that kills children has to be questioned at the very least, and torn down if necessary.

Not everybody wins. In fact, most people don’t win.

Holy crap, people are stupid. Just read YouTube comments for a few days. You’ll wonder how 99% of the population even feed themselves.

The reality is that everyone dies too soon.

Life has two states, boring and terrifying. The only alternative is death.

Being a child is not knowing there is any such thing as perfection. Growing up is realizing there is no such thing.

In Republicanland Jesus was a Swedish Capitalist. You know. The kind that helped Hitler before the war.

The thought of war is insane and the idea of smearing the earth with the lead of a billion bullets is mind-numbingly stupid but to make bullets out of depleted uranium and smear that all over the earth is insanity squared. This is the planet where the lunatics take charge. If someone is giving orders somewhere on this planet, you know you have found a madman.

Genetically modified organisms as food cause cancer in those who eat it. Pharmaceutical companies’ new targeted cancer drugs cost tens of thousands of dollars a month per patient and are being pushed not just for late stage but for early stage cancer as well. I see a cycle here where corporations see billions upon billions of dollars of new profit in giving everyone cancer and then selling them drugs that do not cure the cancer but extend the life by a few months. This is a country run by corporations.

We are all prisoners of our chemicals.

War is never the soldier’s fault. The soldier ends the war. It’s the fault of the one who starts it. The politician.

Dogs are socialists. They serve the common good without question. Cats are capitalists. They break everything you have so you have to go out and buy more.

Some people are aggressive and go get what they want. Others are recessive and only want to hide. Either way, everyone dies.

Meaning is not found but made.

The problem with the human species is insatiable lust. We are destroying the planet in our effort to meet a need that we have manufactured. What do we need? Air, sleep, water, food, shelter. Everything beyond that is luxury.
Cool is fear.

“Tumble down the social media wormhole with everyone’s favorite nerd, Chris Hardwick, as he leads a daily, late-night competition to determine which top comedian has the funniest take on the day’s tweets, vines and pop culture posts.” About the cable show @Midnight. This sounds like what they make you watch in Hell.

The NAZIs did not believe they were evil. They believed they were fighting evil. The Spanish Inquisition never thought they were evil. They thought they were fighting evil. The Taliban and Al’qeda do not believe they are evil. They believe their opponents are evil. No one fights for anything believing they are evil. In their heart everyone wants to do good, to believe they are good. Evil is always what others call others. I wonder if people everywhere will ever understand this fully enough to stop all the bullshit.

War is a failure of imagination and communication, i.e. the things that make humans human. War is what happens when humans stop being human.

To argue about religion these days with the trouble we face, is like being in a car out of control speeding toward a cliff and worrying about the upholstery.

Did Hatsune Miku and Nyan Cat used to be Hexadecimal and Scuzzy?

Praise is the only thing that separates acting from playing make-believe.

A few thousand human beings in every age progress. The rest, the million, never learn anything.

Someone in one of the web site bulletin boards posted not knowing what the word twat means and apparently had never learned the concept of dictionary. Another person explained it, and then I added information about the word dork meaning whale penis and how calling someone a dork is a way of calling them a dick and a huge useless piece of meat at the same time. Puzzling how Western European derived culture is so obsessed with sex and yet so completely disgusted and revolted by their own pudenda to the point that most personal insults involve describing someone as genitalia. Japan has erect penis festivals celebrating fertility, although it’s a wonder that these survive with the encroachment of Christianity onto the islands. Pretty Japanese girls have no business wearing crucifix necklaces and going to parochial school. That just should not be happening. Ever notice that Christianity spreads like a venereal disease from country to country? They hate sex and act like a disease that is spread by it. To them, I can only quote Captain Jean-Luc Picard. “I will not sacrifice the Enterprise. We’ve made too many compromises already; too many retreats. They invade our space and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! And *I* will make them pay for what they’ve done!”

A woman is much sexier when she is wearing something.

When life hands me lemons I rub them on my skin after the steel wool.

The louder your truth, the stupider your opponents become.

Let me tell you about humans. They invented the vibrator before they solved world hunger. That tells you everything you need to know.

I prefer to be miserable. Then, I don’t mind dying.

If you wanted to fuck every woman on Earth, you would have to fuck one hundred women a day for one hundred thousand years.

I may be insane, but I’m not stupid.

Is this a kipper that I see before me?
With its fantail toward my paw? Come, let me munch thee. –Mackerelbreath, II, i

Saying you hammer some nails is like saying you car down the road.

How do we know the universe doesn’t celebrate the new year on April 23rd? How do we know the universe doesn’t count in Jupiter years? Maybe Jupiter is really the standard for time in this system and we’ve had it wrong all along.

The only reason humans think they are important is because they are complex enough to think they are important. It does not mean they are important. Just that they think they are.

Religion is a thought-virus that seeks to spread and infect every rational mind. It must be eradicated.

I am quite sure that this new age of turning one’s private life into public spectacle is not a good thing at all.

Guided By Voices: somewhere between Tenacious D and They Might Be Giants.

The game doesn’t care if it beats you. The game doesn’t care if it loses. Why should you?

If I don’t smoke, I miss it. I can go without a cigarette for days or weeks or even months, but I still miss it. If I don’t smoke my life feels a little bit crappy. If I do smoke, my life feels a little bit crappy for other reasons. The only conclusion I can arrive at is that life is crap no matter how you look at it. The sooner it’s over, the better. So, why not just smoke and get it over with? It’s not as if it is going to be at all enjoyable either way. It’s just a long slog through hard labor and regret until oblivion eats you alive. Why drag it out?

A country founded on murder is not worth defending.

People are idiots.

Most human beings spend their lives parroting empty phrases without the slightest realization that they have no idea what they are saying beyond a compulsion toward self-rightous vanity.

2015 will be remembered as the year you could plunk down money for a new Prophet, Odyssey, Moog Modular, and 2-voice SEM. Can zombies be far behind?

Why is anything called mysterious? Why not just say that it is unexamined? That puts it into perspective.

You’re a wizard, Jesus. That would have explained every goddamned thing. And since Jesus was all about tearing down the sacred cows and disenfranchising the organization in favor of the individual, the future megalomaniacal organization that arose from his corpse would do anything to keep another Jesus from coming along to upset the Fascist apple cart, thus ordering a jihad against witches and wizards.

What if the Holocaust had been a terrible misunderstanding, and that Hitler being a strict vegetarian had wanted all of Germany to unite in crushing the juice?

It is another delusion to believe that you will make anything that will last. Behold my works, all ye mighty. It applies to everyone.

Lyrica. It will either lessen your fibromyalgia pain or kill you horribly. The wonders of modern pharmacy.

Life is just inventing shit to do before you die.

Adobe Flash, the high fructose corn syrup of the Internet. It’s in everything, and no one knows why.

The Internet is where all the guttersnipes have gone.

Religion: a thoughtless adherence to form for the sake of obedience.

Ralph the magic penguin
Lived like a duck
And tossed his cardboard bog roll tube
Like he didn’t give a single solitary tinker’s cuss.

The real issue is that our culture has developed so that children (and even youth and adults) take their behavioral cues from mass media images rather than from their own common sense. The panic over what will affect children’s self image is almost a cry of surrender to the obedience of the consumerist culture. The children are already acknowledged as being obedient little consumers. The fearful adults can only adjust and regulate the external images that the children are driven to obey. This is a sad statement concerning the resignation to a state of conformity and the end of individuality. Our culture is philosophically bankrupt and a costume change is not going to save it. (Concerning the public’s panic over the waist size depicted in the recent live action Cinderella movie.)

There are no secrets. There are no mysteries. No one is keeping score. No one will be rewarded or punished. There is only what is here.

Forget the grand gestures. At the end of the day all that matters is some simple comfort and a pair of warm socks.

No matter how far you stick out, you never know if you will get stroked, but if you do not stick out, at least you know you will never get cut off.

Hope is a delusion we feed ourselves in order to keep from going insane.

Writing is being really bored and having a screw loose, and being read by all those other people who are just really bored.

Breathing air and drinking water are like staring at a wall or listening to the air. This is why humans starting using tobacco, alcohol, art, and music.

Corporations are not in the business of keeping current customers happy. Corporations are in business to get people to spend money. It is in their interest to keep current customers unhappy in order to get them to buy new products due to disappointment with the old products. If you are unhappy and think that spending money is the solution, the corporations are doing their job.

Regarding Alan Tudyk and Nathan Fillian’s new web series Con Man: So they are not going to be kidnapped by actual aliens and go on an actual space adventure because the aliens who will not be showing up mistake them for actual space adventurers? It is just everything that leads up to the depressing pathetic start of that story without ever leaving the depressing pathetic milieu. OK, that is going to be a long haul. I see the Mordor of comedies being developed here. Behind the scenes of every convention is equal parts people who are thrilled by something beyond their ordinary lives, and people who realize this is their ordinary life and it is never going to get better, ever. As W. C. Fields said of the tea-totaler, “That is as good as he is going to feel all day.”

Life makes sense, unless other people are around.

Intern: a dog that volunteers to guard your chickens for so long that you finally decide to feed him.

Dreams are better than reality but they can also be cruel. I just dreamed that I had had a small part in one of the Harry Potter movies and that I was going to go somewhere and meet with Daniel Radcliffe again for some sort of promotional event. Also I was still in school and everyone saw me as sort of a celebrity. Then, I wake up into this purgetory of my own creation. Thank you, mind.
Has it not been statistically and historically proven that social and criminal violence have decreased significantly since the rise of video games over the past two or three decades? Today’s sudden surges of violence are anomalous and clearly have nothing to do with video games or other forms of entertainment. One can hardly attribute the US endemic racism of several centuries and its attendant violence to video games which have only been here for a generation.
Certainly time and effort would be better spent debating and creating solutions for ending violence in the real world and just ignore what it happening in games. Even as I write this, a real child somewhere in the world is being murdered in a random act of violence whether it be crime or war. Is that not what we should be trying to end?
Also, trusting government to regulate and end real world and fantasy world violence is verging on ludicrous. Is it not government that is directly responsible for arming millions of citizens from a highly supported industrial complex and then sending those citizens off to kill and die in war that may or may not be wanted by the majority? How can an entity that very often decides that mass murder is a possible solution to a diplomatic problem be considered an authority on regulating violence in fiction?

All my mistery in life came from other people wanting me to stop writing and work for a living. I eventually stopped writing completely and my life became an endless miserable shit hole. Thank you very much all you other people. It is for you that man invented hell. Too bad it does not really exist.

Bills are like headaches. If I do not get one, I do not think to go looking for one.

When you put yourself into someone else’s hands, you are going to be read. It is safer not to trust.

If it looks like acting, you are doing it wrong.

Beer is a good thing to drink, but a bad thing to breathe.

The problem with the upper class, the thing that makes them so particularly annoying, is that they feel superior not in intellect or physique but because they have been chosen as superior by a deity non pareil.

I just realized Star Trek is an analogy for school. Kirk is a jock, Spock is a nerd, McCoy is your dad, and Scotty is the bus driver.

Committing treason against traitors is not a crime.

The only thing that has kept me alive all these years is that death is slightly scarier than life.

Human beings are so stupid.

Gambling with your life is the only real excitement.

Audible books reminds me of Fahrenheit 451.

The Internet has become the world’s Id.

Maturity is realizing that dreams do not come true.

Letting computers make the decisions rather than letting them come up with the information from which we humans can make informed decisions is a bad mistake that will lead to our extinction.

Whiskey and cinnamon together only makes me think of mouthwash.

“Fast-paced, dynamic and challenging environment” means you are going to be overworked and underpaid.

Unfortunately, one is not given a choice as to what kind of parents one is going to have. If one is saddled with idiots who promote ruination for life, well, welcome to the planet Earth.

The difference between an analog and a digital synthesizer is like the difference between a typewriter and a word processor.

A million monkeys typing on a million typewriters for a millions years will produce a planet with no trees.

According to David Lynch, everyone is either evil, insane, or stupid. Shakespeare said pretty much the same thing. I guess nice, sane, smart people are boring and do not make for good drama.

Suicide is taking control of the inevitable.

Best US cartoons in no particular order:
ReBoot, Jonny Quest, Ren’n’Stimpy, Cow & Chicken, Rocko’s Modern Life, Courage the Cowardly Dog Show, Adventure Time, The Amazing World of Gumball (actually European,) Daria, Aeon Flux, Reign the Conquerer, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Wait ’til Your Father Comes Home, Fleisher Bros. Superman and Popeye shorts, Bugs Bunny, Beanie & Cecil

The one single trait that seems to be universal across the human species is arrogance. The species especially seems to believe that the universe thinks we are special. The truth, of course, is that we are beneath notice.

Life is imminently fair. The capable survive and thrive. The incompetent suffer and die. It is that simple.

Who decided that porn is a good idea? Are there dirty pictures in the Lascaux caves that the French do not show to the public? Were Fred and Barney in the cave porno business with Wilma and Betty? By the way, have you ever noticed that Fred’s house is, like, fifty feed wide, and yet Fred and Barney can walk along a hallway filled with dozens of exactly the same doorways for half a mile or more without stopping? This proves that Fred Flintstone was a Time Lord and his house was a TARDIS.

Someday the Sun will blow up and erase this little mistake call the human race.

There may not be any joy in death but there is no pain, either.

Truth is the immovable mover.

I thought the world was fair. It is not. The world is fuck you for trying. Once you understand this, you realize that success is achieve by get the fuck out of my way.

Being an artist is like being a fireman. You have to jump into the fire when common sense says run away.

The views expressed are not the opinions of.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal” was written by a slave owner.

Artificial intelligence already exists. We call it the corporation.

It is not the civilians that start the wars. It is the politicians. But it is the civilians who end up doing the dying. The politicians are the ones who have the best bomb shelters.

All I want is God’s permission to shoot anyone who says or does anything obviously stupid in front of me.

Depression is like watching yourself being eaten by a snake because it is the only slightly interesting thing going on.

Michael Moore is right. Corporations are psychotic and everyone who works for one eventually becomes psychotic. They get absorbed into it.

I hate happy people. Happy people have stopped asking questions.

I wonder if I had more fun back when I was using PC-DOS. I used to write huge programs, and I seemed to get a lot more done in weeks than I have gotten done in years lately. Things are easier under the new operating systems, but it feels more like being led through a giant mall where everything is done for you and you have nothing exactly that you want to choose from. Kind of like being a corn fed pig in a box. Welcome to the jungle.

Everything goes to hell at puberty.

If I ever hear anyone use a word like “personpower” I will manfully punch them in the snoot.

“Sit by the river long enough, and you will see each and every meme in Cheezburger come floating by at least three times.” — Sun Tzu, “The Art of Bored”

Synthesizer enthusiasts are, as Ted Nelson described assembly language programmers, high priests of a low cult. Guitarists are bad boys. Drummers are maniacs. Synthesizer players are on a mission from god.

“Jurrasic Park” is Spielberg’s “The Producers.”

“Meaning” is just something you make up to keep from killing yourself.

“The Dark Side of the Moon” is a Pink Floyd album that is, in reality, an Alan Parsons project.

Evolution invented religion for a reason.

Never frequent a pub where the bartender has to look up a cocktail recipe in a book.

People are weird.

eBay, the light around which all the cheapskate gadflies hover like moths to a flame, where they expect everything to be available for ten cents on the dollar and do not hesitate to express resetment at any disappointment.

Life is ultimately fair. Smart people live. Stupid people die. Do not like it? Kill yourself.

eBay buyer: one who throws a hissy fit when no one will sell them a Ferrari for $1, then claims it faulty and eBay gives it to them for free

Nothing changes more quickly or is worth less than an opinion.

How dare you care when I cannot even.

Even the most so-called wonderful things in life are merely momentary distraction from the boredom and pain; the only thing ever worth looking forward to is death.

Life is a long series of events that seem designed to lead one to pray for death.

I love advertisements, knowing that people are paying for my entertainment and they are never going to get a single penny from me as long as I live.

What does it matter who is rich and who is poor? Everyone dies.

I just ate a blue ice pop, and it tasted blue. Which is just fucking weird because I cannot explain what blue tastes like, because it does not taste like anything but blue. It definitely tasted blue. That is all I can say.

No, quitting smoking does not make your life better. It is the same life you had before without smoking. If your life was crap, guess what? It is still crap only without the momentary delusory comfort of a cigarette. Quitting smoking does not make rainbows and unicorns appear bearing a pot of gold and a bevy of eager redheads. That is just advertising and we all know advertising is lies. “Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says different is selling something.” –The Dread Pirate Roberts

The only reality is murder or suicide.

Being against suicide qua suicide is a species thing. The species does not want to lose the work you can do. There is a hive, and it does not want to let you go.

The toughest part of depression is ignoring the idea that you deserve to fail.

You ever wake up from a dream and just go “Oh…shit. It’s reality.”

New York State government services should be listed as an assisted suicide service because they certainly drive you to it.

I was not here for fifteen billion years before I was born. I will not be here for fifteen billion years after I die.

Everybody hates golfers, and golfers hate each other. There is a lot of hatred in golf.

The world will never run out of bastards who expect you to sacrifice your life for them. Only remember to refuse.

Forward is not always straight ahead.

Bureaucracies were invented to slow things down so that the powerful can keep an eye on things. If everything went wild then the powerful would lose track and soon find themselves out of power.

There is nothing worth saving. There is nothing worth fighting for. Everything dies in the end. What’s the point?

Antidepressant drugs do not make you happy. They make you look happy.

Everything in the Universe is made of vibrations. Synthesizers create vibrations. Synthesizers are the voice of God.

The Zombie Apocalypse is reactionary paranoia toward the Welfare State.

Republican scientists have engineered a new type of poor person; it eats dirt, shits gold nuggets, and has no voice. Preliminary trials showed great promise and they hope to be put into production well before the Apocalypse.

When I was a kid my favorite snack was Smokey the Bear Cookies and Tang. I really wanted to be a Park Ranger Astronaut. Like Bruce Dern in “Silent Running.” Now I’m sad.

White people love masking bigotry and racism with “being patriotic” –goku8621 on U2b (later edited to “Right wingers…”)

That itself is a racist remark. You should say some white people. Just as I have encountered some black people who hear any personal or even general criticism and accuse the critic of racism, as if white people in general are not allowed to be critical of black people in any way whatsoever. In my opinion, color is only skin deep, but stupidity goes right to the bone. –my reply

Max Headroom was the first Youtuber.

On 10/10/10 at 10:10:10 nothing in particular happened.

Morality is slavery. Ownership is a delusion.

I am getting that kind of electrically tinglingly not-tingling warm all over that tells me I am at the center of the universe, and it’s delicious. This is when I know I’m right.

Yes, I am mad. And I am mad in a most delightful way. HEE HEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Sex is predatory. I am not a predator. I am not prey.

Having the finest violin in the world does not make you the finest violinist in the world.

Raise your children so that they have a heart of gold, a will of iron, and a mind like a steel trap with a mercury core and a full metal jacket.

The extent of your rules is the extent of your fear.

The Sneetches is an allegory for the automobile industry. Audi put fairy lights around the headlights of their cars. After a few years most every other car manufacturer put fairy lights around the headlights of their cars. Just watch; Audi will be removing the fairy lights from around the headlights of their cars.

Space is shorter near the ground. That’s why things go down.

Do you ever get the feeling that your whole species doesn’t know what the fuck they’re talking about?

Physical form is a conduit for information. Nothing more.

Don’t tell idiots they are idiots. It only makes them mad and never makes them not idiots.

Don’t mess with success. Don’t hail your failure.

A Career is the very worst thing that you can do to yourself. You want all the branches of a tree to climb on, not a flagpole.

Which are crazier: men or women? And why do the less crazy ones put up with it?

Normalizing is like leveling Mt. Ranier and using it to fill in the Grand Canyon. Normalizing is not a pretty thing, specially if it is against your will.

It is not so much that some people will do anything to succeed, but that most people will not stoop to honesty and integrity.

As a long time science fiction reader, Vegan is anything to do with the Vega colonies. Vegetarian means a person who is a vegetable, such as the original Thing From Another World, and Ficus Panderatas in the show Quark. There are herbivores, omnivores, and carnivores, which subsist on THC, old Bob Guccioni science magazines, and sideshow hucksters respectively.

Fuck the Nazis. Fuck the Jews. Fuck the Christians and the Muslims, too. Fuck Buddha and Confusius. Fuck the SJW self-righteous. Fuck war and politics combined. Fuck corporations that enslave the mind. Fuck Trump. Fuck Putin. Fuck Rivlin. Fuck deGaul. Go fuck yourself if this bothers you at all.

There is no meaning. There is only keeping busy.

I look at the list of Youtube’s Trending and I realize that the human race is descending into a mass of stupidity from which none of us will recover, and that our species is doomed to extinction in a very short time.

I don’t believe in writer’s block. I believe in fear.

Wow, not only EDM, but Hiphop and Pop, too. The only genres that exist. There are no musicians any more. Only producers. No music. Only produce. Like vegetables at the supermarket.

If someone says “What can I do to repay you?” tell them “Live a good life and be decent to people, animals, and plants.”

A cult is any religion that does not have enough members in the government.

It seems wrong that anyone who afford themselves the luxury of slave labor should expect to command the same pride of accomplishment and self-respect that is rightfully afforded only to free-thinking individuals.

Fruit flies have only three commandments: eat, mate, not be eaten. That’s the entirety of their day. That is pretty much how life all over the Earth worked, until Humans showed up. Humans felt the need to invent morality, and ethics. For some reason they felt that distinctions between good and evil behavior needed to be specified and enforced. Even when someone very smart and well respected like William Shakespeare tried to correct this turmoil inducing syndrome by pointing out that “There is neither good nor evil but thinking makes it so” most Humans seemed to take this as an invitation to relieve themselves of the responsibility and stop thinking entirely. This left a severe vacuum in the decision making department and you know what Nature thinks of that. Into this evacuation flooded a never ending load of hot air known as Politicians and we have been navigating dire straits for the duration.

The problem with the human mind is that it believes information is a sign of intent.

The United States is now officially a Fascist dictatorship, and the violent overthrow of the government will not only be historically legal but historically necessary. We must tear down Trump.

Some professional might say I have OCD. I prefer to think of it as immovable patience applied to unstoppable persistence. Turn your deficits into assets.



I am such a nothing.  Really.  That’s the truth.  Potential unrealized is just a measure of wasted time.